De Rigueur

Kathryn Janeway was having a very bad day.

For the fifth time in as many minutes, her eyes sought the broad form of her First Officer in the mass of people. It didn't take long to spot him; the average Naver male was decidedly smaller than Chakotay, by a good six inches. That was probably the reason why Calei, the ambassador's daughter, had practically been glued to him ever since they had beamed down to the planet.

That didn't sit particularly well with Kathryn. If she were a lesser woman, she would develop an inferiority complex. Like every Naver female, Calei was beautiful beyond words: taller than the opposite sex, with seemingly endless legs; a well proportioned body, accentuated by the skin-tight sorry excuse for a dress; siren-like features, framed by straight pitch-black hair that reached all the way down to her waist. Not precisely Chakotay's usual type, Kathryn noticed, but he didn't seem to mind Calei's undivided attention.

Kathryn suddenly felt much very out of place, as everyone but her seemed to be having a good time. Maybe she should just pretend a headache and beam back to Voyager, especially because it was getting harder and harder not to let show how much the picture of her First Officer and the ambassador's daughter was affecting her. After all, it wouldn't do for the Captain of Voyager to throw a tantrum, much less at a formal reception. Her mind made up, Kathryn downed the drink she had been swirling around in her glass for the past ten minutes, and headed towards the Naver ambassador.

Ryrke seemed genuinely delighted to see her. "Captain Janeway," he smiled at her, "just the person I was looking for. I wanted to introduce you to my daughter. She must be somewhere around."

Kathryn barely managed to bite back the flippant remark that instinctively came to mind, and returned his smile instead. "I'm afraid I must decline, Ambassador," she said with what she hoped was an apologetic expression. "I'm not feeling well, and I wanted to say goodbye to you before I beam back to my ship."

He offered her a sympathetic smile, "I am sorry to hear that Captain. Perhaps you will feel like joining my daughter and I tomorrow for our noon meal. I'm sure we could arrange for a tour of our city after that."

She managed a polite smile, though the thought of spending even a moment with the Ambassador's daughter left an awful taste within her mouth. "We shall see sir, now I'm afraid I must be returning to my ship. Good evening." She bowed her head before taking her leave of him. As she left the party she sighed wearily, feeling just a bit guilty for allowing her personal feelings to interfere with her duties. Yet the thought of Chakotay with that overly voluptuous - she sighed again and stopped herself before she could finish the thought. It appeared she was getting spiteful in her old age. Spiteful and lonely.

As she wound her way through the palace away from the party she let herself revel in self-pity, but only for a moment. Then sighed again as she reached an appropriate place to ask for a transport. Her loneliness was no one's fault but her own. Therefore she would have to deal with it, and leave Chakotay out of it. It was no longer his concern, as she was certain he had moved on with his life by now. But still - she thought as she wound her way through Voyager's corridors, it was nice to dream about what it might be like for them, in a different place, in a different time. A chance to be happy would have been nice, but fate was cruel and it had dealt her a tough hand. So she was going to stick it out, do her duty, and keep reminding herself that every day was one day closer to getting this crew home, and one day closer to having her dream.

*

Ensign Harry Kim repeatedly tugged at his collar, trying not to be too obvious. These dress uniforms usually were uncomfortable, to say the least, but in addition to that, the temperature in the palace seemed to have risen throughout the past hour or so. By now, Harry was wishing he had chosen less formal attire like Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay.

Perhaps, Harry thought, I should just beam back to the ship and change, but immediately dismissed that idea. He had seen the Captain leaving only a couple of minutes ago, which meant that only Chakotay and he were left of the original Voyager delegation. It probably wouldn't be a wise move to disappear, too. Although the Naver were a hospitable and friendly species, Harry didn't want to be the one to cause a misunderstanding. Especially because they had requested he attend too.

Harry was still surprised at how their first contact had unfolded. He had been on night shift, as had become his habit ever since their third year in the Delta Quadrant, when Ensign Devlin reported that they were being hailed. He had nearly jumped at the opportunity to make first contact, all the while being ready to summon Captain Janeway. Of course he had done so in the end, but only after he had introduced himself to the Naver. Never had he thought that they would be so eager to meet him, a mere ensign, too.

Right now, though, Harry regretted attending their festivities. He was getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute, without having any clue what to do about it. He was more than a little itchy, and constantly thirsty, it seemed. Heading for the bar in search for water, he bumped into Commander Chakotay - literally.

Chakotay was caught off-guard then, forced to take a step forward. Thus he grasped Calei's shoulders in order to keep his balance and not stumble into her, too. Throwing a glance over his shoulder, he never saw Calei's eyes going wide. "Nice bumping into you, Harry," he smiled.

"I'm sorry, Commander," Harry said immediately, a little flustered. "I was a little lost in thought."

"No harm done," Chakotay assured. Taking a step backward, he said, "May I introduce you to the Ambassador's daughter? Calei meet Ensign Harry Kim, Harry this is Calei."

Harry inclined his head, smiling. "Nice to meet you, Calei."

"Likewise," she replied in a melodic voice, casting brief, concerned glances at Chakotay. Harry found that to be a little odd, but he didn't inquire, as it was none of his business.

"Have you seen the Captain, Harry?" Chakotay suddenly asked, letting his gaze wander over the mass of people. "I promised to introduce Calei to her, too."

"I'm afraid she left a couple of minutes ago," Harry answered with an apologetic look at Calei. "But I'm sure you'll get a chance to meet her before we leave, Calei."

Calei seemed a little disappointed. "I was hoping I could personally invite Captain Janeway to have lunch with my father and I tomorrow . . . Would you please relay the invitation?" she asked both Harry and Chakotay.

"Of course," Chakotay nodded.

"Thank you." Then Calei smiled at someone behind them. "If you'll excuse me, my father just waved at me to join him." With a nod and a smile, she left.

Chakotay turned back to Harry. "Any idea why the Captain left so early?"

Having met the ambassador's daughter, a couple of ideas come to Harry's mind, but he wisely didn't voice them. "None, Commander. I saw her leaving by pure chance."

Chakotay frowned, a flash of concern entering his eyes for only the briefest moment. "Alright, Ensign, get back to the festivities, I'll check in with her later." He sighed as he turned to move through the guests. Would it have been too much to be informed that she was leaving? If not at least as her friend then as her First Officer? A pain of disappointment shot through his chest for a moment, and then he squelched it. He was being foolish to let her get to him this way when they had been playing this game for months. She would ignore him; he would be upset and pursue her only to be shut out again. Well, enough was enough; even he had his breaking point.

With that thought still in his head, Chakotay moved over to a refreshment table for a something cold to drink. It must have been him, most likely the fact that he was angry, because the temperature in the palace had just risen several degrees. After retrieving his drink he moved through the crowd to lean against a pillar just to the side of the festivities. He shifted uncomfortably and tugged at the front of his beige shirt. When a hand appeared on his shoulder moments later he jumped slightly, his head twisting to get a look at its owner.

"Would you like to dance, Commander?"

His brow rose perceptively, and almost against his will his eyes flowed down her body and up again. It shocked him at the immediate reaction he had to her. She wasn't extraordinarily beautiful, but the hand she had on his shoulder was having a profound effect on him. A niggling concern entered his mind as he put his drink aside and allowed her to lead him onto the dance floor. There was no harm in being polite.

There seemed to be harm in touching her, though. Chakotay couldn't explain it, but her closeness affected him more than he would like. They weren't even dancing very close, and still he was aroused. Now he was extremely grateful for the black slacks he was wearing; they were just loose enough to hide his condition. But out of necessity he had to keep her at an arm's length, as he didn't want to embarrass her or himself.

By the time the dance was over, Chakotay was fighting hard for control. He barely managed to thank his dancing partner before he headed straight for the balcony. This state of arousal was far from normal, and he hoped that the cool air would help him calm down enough to say goodbye to the ambassador and leave. He would have to deal with his condition back on Voyager, one way or another.

*

"Commander, are you there?" Harry asked as he stepped onto the balcony, a note of concern slipping into his voice. He had spent the past thirty minutes looking for Chakotay, but the Commander had been nowhere to be found.

The balcony was illuminated by the two Naveran moons, yet it wasn't enough for Harry to see more than a couple of feet ahead. He repeated his question, and not getting any reply, turned around to leave when he heard a low groan, almost inaudible, coming from the far side of the balcony.

Harry squinted his eyes against the darkness and took a step toward the corner. "Commander?" He could just barely make out the tall Indian's frame where he sat in the corner. Kim moved slowly toward him, "Sir, are you alright?" He stopped just short of reaching Voyager's First officer. There was enough light flowing into the corner from the planets' moons for him to make out the grimace on the commander's face. As he looked closer he could see that the front of Chakotay's tailored shirt was drenched with perspiration and that his chest was rising and falling with rapid breaths.

Harry's brows furrowed and he leaned forward to put a hand on the commander's shoulder, but drew it back quickly. Chakotay's skin was like fire, burning from the inside out. "Sir, we should beam you back to the ship."

"No," he groaned again as he moved. "This is embarrassing enough," he bit out and stood to lean against the balcony rail once more.

"Commander if you're ill you should return to Voyager," Harry moved back into the moonlight, and in doing so could see that the Commander's skin was flushed and glistening with sweat.

Chakotay bit back a violent retort, Harry was right. He would have to swallow his pride and return to Voyager. "Contact the Doctor directly, have him beam me directly to sickbay."

"Aye, sir." Harry took a step back, a little disturbed by the barely controlled ferality in the Commander's eyes.

Chakotay took a deep breath and tried to calm his rapidly beating heart. In the time since he'd left the party his condition had grown rapidly worse, and was continuing to do so. He couldn't say that he had experienced this particular phenomenon before; it was one thing to be extremely aroused, and one to wish to never quite feel it again. By this point he was in so much physical pain he was beginning to consider never even looking at another woman again. His trousers had grown steadily tighter, and the pressure they were exerting against his body was almost excruciating.

"Commander," the Ensign's voice cut into the haze filling his mind, "the Doctor is ready for you now."

He nodded once and husked out his response, "Energize."

When he rematerialized in sickbay the EMH was waiting for him, "Commander, I understand you're not feeling wel - oh dear." The Hologram motioned him onto a biobed and reached for his tricorder. "Have you ingested anything in the last 6 hours?"

"Nothing that hadn't been previously tested for human physiology. I had a drink at the party, but it was the same composition as those you tested earlier today."

The EMH's brows rose into what would have been his hairline, if he'd had hair, as he finished running the first series of scans. "I see, and when precisely did his condition begin?"

"About thirty minutes ago."

"Have you had direct contact with anyone in the last half an hour?"

"Only Ambassador Ryrke's daughter and a Naveran woman I danced with." He shifted uncomfortably on the biobed, trying to ease some of the pressure in his lap.

"Any sexual activity?"

Chakotay growled, "If I there had been, I wouldn't be in this predicament now would I."

Due to Chakotay's severe condition, the Doctor bit back the sarcastic remark that instantly come to mind, remembering his bedside manners, and replied, "I'm going to sedate you for now, Commander. The tricorder doesn't read anything particularly unusual, except . . . the obvious. I'll have to run some deep tissue scans, which require you to lay still. I can see how that might be a problem in your current condition, hence the sedative."

Chakotay was beyond caring; all he could focus on was the pain, and that all he really wanted at the moment was for it to either stop or that he could grab the first available female and relieve himself. And since the latter wasn't exactly an option at the moment, he was left to the Doctor's devices. Somehow that didn't seem very comforting at the moment. Turning his head to the left, he gave the EMH better access to his neck to administer the sedative. His last thought, before darkness engulfed him, was of Kathryn and what her reaction would be not if she found out, but when the doctor reported his predicament.

It wasn't a particularly nice thought.

*

Starlight bathed the bed in gentle tones, as the sheets rustled from Kathryn's writhing. Twisted amongst the sheets her knuckles were tight where they held on tightly as husky groans and deep sighs bounced about the room. Her back arched off the bed with each stroke whilst her head moved side to side on the pillow. Her skin was flushed, tingling from where his hands had touched her.

Her nipples, taut and pink, ached for the attention of his mouth. The friction of her moving legs and the way her hips arched against the sheet sent a jolt of desire pooling between her thighs. Waiting, always waiting for him to release it. But his lips eluded her and his teased her, flowing over her body, parting her legs so that his head could bend between them and his mouth could-

"Sickbay to Captain Janeway."

Her eyes sprang open at once, and she sat up bed, guiltily pulling the sheet around her nude body. "Yes Doctor," she winced, her voice sounding huskier than usual, but hoped he wouldn't notice.

"There is a situation I believe that you should be briefed on. Your presence is required in sickbay."

She sighed, "Understood Doctor. I'll be there in ten minutes. Janeway out." When the comlink had been severed she fell back onto the bed with a loud groan. Why, oh why did they have to interrupt just when he was about to . . . she sighed again, it was just as well, having such dreams about her first officer always proved to make her days longer, and her nights even worse.

Kathryn reluctantly heaved herself off the bed and tossed the bed sheets aside, noticing that she would have to take a quick shower before she went to Sickbay. If she could smell the scent of her arousal, she was sure the Doctor, or anyone else, for that matter, could too.

In the end, it took her almost all of ten minutes just to get ready to leave her quarters, looking remotely decent. She didn't care overmuch, though. It was late in the night and she was both tired and frustrated, the Doctor had better have a very good reason to call her at . . . 0237 hours, she realized with a start as she took a look at the chronometer in passing-by.

That 'very good reason' became obvious when Kathryn entered Sickbay, her gaze immediately settling upon the form of her First Officer who was lying on one of the far off biobeds. Immediate concern gripped her heart, while a feeling of foreboding began to churn deep in her belly. "What happened?" She asked as she approached the EMH.

He glanced over at the commander to assure himself that he still slept, and motioned the Captain into his office. "It appears that during tonight's festivities on the Naver home world Commander Chakotay was infected with some sort of chemical imbalance."

"Define infected." She crossed her arms firmly over her chest, that feeling in her stomach growing worse. "Is he going to be alright?"

"That remains to be seen." The EMH handed her a padd, "We believe it might have occurred during a physical encounter with one of the Naveran women at tonight's gala. There are two possibilities, and I believe the officials of Naver should be apprised of this situation. At this point, I have tried several treatments on the Commander, and all of them have proven futile."

She was scowling by now, "What is the nature of this, imbalance?"

The Doctor almost seemed uncomfortable with answering that, and glanced once more at his patient. "It is," he hesitated for several seconds, "sexual in nature." When her eyes narrowed he quickly continued, "However, the Commander has not engaged in any sexual activities this evening.

I have given him several hormone injections to counteract the effect, but as I stated earlier, they have not worked. It is my hope the physicians of Naver might have some clue as to what is happening to Commander Chakotay."

Unbidden, pictures of her dream come to mind, and Kathryn carefully schooled her features. Now was not the time to indulge in them, especially because she didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the ridiculousness of this situation. And considering all that Chakotay had put her through last evening, she was hard-put not to let him suffer just a little bit longer.

"Captain?" the Doctor asked irritably, startling her out of her thoughts.

"All right," she sighed. "Meet me in transporter two in 10 minutes. I'll just inform Ambassador Ryrke of our visit beforehand." At the Doctor's curt nod of acknowledgement, Kathryn cast a last glance at Chakotay and left Sickbay, wondering why she hadn't just stayed in bed. Life was screwed up enough as it was, even without Chakotay's repeated escapades.

*

Embarrassing as it was, Kathryn swept into the Ambassador's private lounge with her head held high, one thought replaying itself in her mind over and over; Chakotay was going to pay for this later. The Captain glanced only once at the Doctor and Tuvok who had accompanied her on this mission. The Servant who had shown them into the room bowed low and then quickly retreated from the room. Kathryn shifted impatiently where she stood, then stopped as the distinct sound of an argument began to filter into the room from beyond.

"But father you don't understand, this is my doing. If it had not been for me the Voyager Commander would not be in this predicament and our trade with them would not be endangered. You know as well as I that there is only one way to resolve this. Let me handle it, no one ever need know." Calei was obviously pleading with her father on the matter. And the heartfelt sound did nothing to calm Kathryn's already frayed nerves, not to mention what it was doing for her temper.

"Calei, I forbid it!" The previously serene Ambassador's voice boomed through the walls, "Relations with off-worlders is strictly forbidden, you know that as well as I do. It cannot and will not be allowed, even if this was simply an accident. The Voyager crew will simply have to accept that there is nothing we can do on the matter. We will offer what assistance we can, but that is it, end of discussion."

"But Father . . ."

"Enough! Get ye back to your rooms if you cannot accept my final answer."

"I'm sorry, father, I just feel responsible."

The voices had grown closer and seemed to be hovering just outside the entrance to the room; Kathryn lifted a brow and exchanged a glance with her Doctor and chief of security.

"I understand, Kerima, and I do not hold you responsible, the Commander did not know that touching you during this time was . . . unacceptable for his people. Were he one of us, the issue would be easily resolved. It is only his species that makes it difficult. Do not worry, though, I will handle everything. I will explain everything to the Voyager Captain, she will understand."

There was a light murmuring that must have been Calei's response, and then a moment passed before the two entered the room, both smiling in their greeting of the Voyager Away Team. "Ahh, Captain Janeway," the Ambassador smiled apologetically, "I am sorry that we must meet again under these circumstances. How is your Commander?"

"Uncomfortable," she shifted only slightly, "And in pain." It served the bastard right too, she added to herself, we'll see where he sticks his hands from now on.

Calei's brow furrowed, "I cannot apologize enough Captain. This is all my doing, if there were something I could do," she glanced at her father for a brief moment, "I would gladly do it."

"Perhaps," Tuvok interjected, "If you could explain to us what precisely is happening to Commander Chakotay."

Ryrke shifted uncomfortably, "Commander Chakotay unknowingly and through no fault of his own, or," he quickly added glancing at his daughter, "anyone one else's has been selected."

"Selected?" Kathryn said blandly, her eyes narrowing as she glanced at Calei, "Selected for what exactly."

"You see," Calei began to explain, "Our women go through cycles, not unlike your own I'm sure, where we are extremely fertile. During that time if we choose to mate, we select a male of our species. However, over the last few centuries these cycles have become fewer each year, a breeding cycle if you will. And our women have begun to show tendencies of telepathy, causing the men surrounding us to become affected during these cycles. However, telepathic influence is very weak, and usually only causes a mild, rarely noticeable change in the male's chemistry. Unless they are touched."

"When a male of our species is touched by a female in her breeding cycle," Ryrke continued, "he enters the cycle with her, meaning he has been selected to become her mate. Mating generally ensues over a period of a few days and the cycle is ended. This is what is happening to your commander. He has entered a Naveran breeding cycle which can only be concluded in one manner."

Voyager's EMH chose that moment to speak up, "So it is de rigueur for the women of your species to sleep with the men they touch?"

The Ambassador nodded, "Exactly, however in this case our society prohibits sexual relations with off-worlders. I'm afraid it is forbidden in our culture for Calei to couple with your Commander Chakotay. I do however wish it were not so, he is a fine man and I am sure he would be a suitable mate for my daughter. But it simply cannot be allowed."

"Indeed," Kathryn bit out, "Then I apologize for having taken up your time."

"I am truly sorry Captain," Calei apologized yet again, "if I could help him I would."

Kathryn's smile was much too sweet to be sincere, yet she doubted the Naver would notice, "I'm sure you would."

"Before you go," the Ambassador interrupted, "You should know that distance between selected mates causes the condition to grow more uncomfortable between each. In our society selected ones are secluded together until the cycle has concluded. For his comfort you might want to return Commander Chakotay to the planet until a solution to this problem can be found."

"What about letting the condition run its course? Surely it will wear off in a few days?" Kathryn asked hopefully, already dreading that which had not yet been mentioned.

"In our species," Calei answered, "men have been known to be driven mad by the condition, some survive it, others do not, at least not with their minds intact. That is why touching a woman in her cycle is unacceptable, our men would have known I was in mine, your commander did not. For that I apologize again."

Though it was difficult for her, Kathryn tried to smile at the young woman, "It was not intentional, and we do not hold you responsible. I'm sure we will resolve this issue in a manner appropriate for the commander." Is castrating him an option? She wondered to herself. "With your permission, Ambassador, my officers and I will return to Voyager to decide the best course of action for Commander Chakotay."

Ryrke nodded once, "We wish the Commander well, and offer him our sincerest apologies."

With that the Voyager Away team was lead from the room back to their transporter coordinates. When they rematerialized in transporter room two Kathryn sighed, "Well, what the hell do we do *now*?" The frustration and anger she'd hidden earlier now evident.

The Doctor, for once not being his usual smug self, answered, "I strongly recommend returning Commander Chakotay to the planet, as Ambassador Ryrke suggested. Since this 'cycle' has the same effect on humans as it does on Naverans, I think it's safe to assume that the outcome it basically the same, too."

"I concur," Tuvok said, sotto voice. "It is the only logical course of action at this point."

Kathryn could feel a headache start to build behind her temples. They were right, of course, and she knew it, yet the thought of leaving Chakotay in the 'capable hands' of Calei left a sour taste in her mouth. The ambassador's daughter may have been sincere in her apologies, but she had also seemed far too eager to 'help' Chakotay. "All right, gentlemen. We'll do that first thing in the morning. Doctor, do you think that will be soon enough? I don't want to endanger the Commander any more than I have to." Although it serves him right, she thought grimly.

"I suppose it will be soon enough," he replied hesitantly.

"Very well." Kathryn turned to her Security Chief, "Tuvok, I want you to adjust the duty roster accordingly. We don't know how long Commander Chakotay will be . . . indisposed. And one last thing," she added, "I could imagine that Chakotay's condition is very embarrassing to him. Not a word about it to the crew."

Tuvok and the Doctor each nodded, replying, "Understood Captain."

"Very well," She sighed, "Tuvok you have the bridge, Doctor I will accompany you to sickbay, I want to know how the commander is fairing, and if he's awake I'd like a word with him." She might have been pissed beyond belief, but that didn't mean she no longer cared for his well-being. And perhaps a small part of her was hoping that he'd - She shut that part off before the thought could be finished.

She walked with the Doctor to sickbay, both of them silent, an unusual circumstance for the EMH, who was only silent when his program wasn't in use.

When they reached sickbay the Commander was indeed awake and shifting restlessly on the biobed. Kathryn approached his side cautiously, "Commander." When she saw the pain in his eyes turn to horror at her seeing him this way, her heart melted. "Oh Chakotay . . ." She sighed, "How do we get into these predicaments."

He snarled, "Not by choice that's for damned sure." When she took another step toward him he held a hand up, "Don't." His body had already reacted to the site of her, and now with his senses on overdrive, it was reacting to her smell. "Don't come any closer." He slid off the biobed and winced painfully, then took a step around it, using it as a shield between them. "If you know what's good for you, you'll get the hell out of here."

She frowned, "Chakotay I - "

"Get out. Now."

The ferocity in his eyes sent her back a step, and as her gaze swept over him she noticed how strained his hands were against the biobed, where he held it. She started backing up slowly, knowing full well why he was refusing to look at her. "The Doctor will apprise you of the situation, I will see - speak with you in the morning."

She turned quickly and fled, not stopping until she reached the turbolift at the end of the corridor. Then she struck her combadge, "Janeway to Sickbay, Doctor what the hell just happened?"

The EMH's voice filled the turbolift, "My patient had a very strong physical response to your presence, Captain. That is what happened, I don't really think I'd have to explain it to you, or do I?"

Kathryn rolled her eyes, "Yes, yes, but why? I thought Chakotay told you earlier that his condition only worsened when he danced with the Naveran woman? I didn't come within three steps of him."

"No, but since your arrival in sickbay before our meeting with the Ambassador, the Commander's condition has progressed rapidly. It seems he had a strong adverse reaction to the pheromones your body was giving off at the time of your arrival in sickbay earlier this evening. That condition only worsened with your presence just now. It seems we may not be able to put off transporting the Commander back to the planet. With his condition progressing as it is, we're going to have to return him tonight. At this rate he may not survive until morning."

That news cut Kathryn to the core. Up until now, she had of course known that Chakotay was in pain, even in danger, but only now did she grasp the seriousness of this situation. It was enough to make her lean against the wall for support, as her knees were buckling all of a sudden. But by a force of will, she pulled herself together long enough to reply, "Get ready for transport, Doctor. I'll contact the Naveran government. Janeway out."

With the commlink severed, Janeway slumped against the wall once more, drained of all energy. What if the Doctor couldn't find a cure? What if Chakotay's condition worsened even more? The thought sent a stabbing pain right through her heart. Right then and there Kathryn vowed that she'd do anything within her possibilities to help him, and she'd start by getting a grip and informing Ambassador Ryrke. "Bridge," she called out, oddly comforted by the computer's acknowledgement.

*

Ryrke was already waiting for Kathryn when she beamed down, looking both concerned and apologetic. "Captain, I can't apologize enough for having caused so many problems. I wish there was more I could do to help your Commander, but I'm afraid Naveran law is very specific when it comes to sexual relations with off-worlders."

"I understand," Kathryn bit out, when in truth she didn't. Accident or not, it was the Naveran's fault in the end, and the least they could do was offer all available help. "Where is Commander Chakotay now?"

"Follow me." Ryrke led her along the corridors of his palace until they reached a massive, wooden door. "This is what we call the Bonding Suite," he explained. "It's like an apartment, complete with bathroom, kitchen, a bedroom. Your Doctor and Commander Chakotay are currently there."

"Thank you, Ambassador. I'll handle the situation from now on."

Ryrke took a low bow. "Please contact me immediately if you need anything." Without further ado he left, understanding the need for privacy all too well. Kathryn was very grateful for that. She had come dangerously close to gaping when he had mentioned the 'Bonding Suite.'

Taking a deep breath, she tapped her combadge. "Janeway to Doctor. Meet me outside . . . Chakotay's room." Not in a million years would she called it 'Bonding Suite.' Nor would she enter it before the Doctor gave his okay, the incident in Sickbay still being too fresh in her mind.

"Acknowledged," came the quick reply, and mere seconds later, the door opened to reveal the worried EMH.

"How is he?" Kathryn demanded, not bothering to waste any time with pleasantries. She was sick with concern.

"He's worsening," the doctor would have let out a long weary sigh if he had been human, "The proximity to the other Naveran women is worsening his condition. Something needs to be done now; it can't be put off any longer. If Ambassador Ryrke isn't going to help us, then I suggest finding someone from the crew whom Commander Chakotay would be comfortable with."

Kathryn's eyes closed, he wouldn't go for that, she knew that, the doctor had to know that. The only way to save Chakotay's life was to force him into a situation he didn't want to be in. "I'll see to it Doctor," her heart ached, knowing what she had to do. "You're dismissed."

"Captain I don't think that's such a good idea, the Comma - "

Her voice, full of ice cut him off, "I said you're dismissed." But her eyes were pleading with him not to make this harder than it already was.

Kathryn held her breath until the door closed behind her, and then slowly, carefully let it out. She moved quietly through the suite, trying to ignore the romantic decor, but it was difficult. There were heavy draperies in all of the rooms, plush furniture, it was a setting designed for romance, as well as convenience.

She took a deep breath and paused just outside the bedroom, her hand poised over the doorknob. She gave herself a few seconds to prepare for the worst before stepping inside.

She spotted him immediately, crouched in the corner of the room, his chest heaving with each difficult breath. His skin was drenched in sweat, as were his clothes, and his eyes were sunken into his skull. When he opened them and looked up, her breath caught in her throat. "Oh Chakotay . . ." She took a step toward him and stopped. "This has to end, I know the Doctor has given you your options."

"I won't turn to a member of the crew," each word was punctuated with a gasp, "I'll simply have to wait it out."

She sighed in exasperation, "There is no waiting it out you fool, this is killing you." Drawing all her courage she walked toward him, not stopping until she stood just in front of him. Bending forward she rested one hand on the arm of his chair, and the other she pressed against his cheek. "Let me help you." She gently caressed his cheek, "No one else on board would ever have to know of your condition. I know you're embarrassed, but I won't let you die."

"No," he took her hand and removed it from his skin, then stood and pushed her away from him. "Get out of here, Kathryn, I don't need or want your help."

She caught his arm before he could stalk away form her, "To hell with your honor Chakotay, I'm not leaving." She slid her arm up his arm to rest on his shoulder, "This is already hard enough on both of us. Don't make it worse." But he stiffened under her touch and refused to either look at her or touch her in return.

Sighing she took a step back and began to unfasten her uniform, slowly removing and tossing it aside. She could see Chakotay's jaw twitching as he refused to look at her, his body responding to the sound of each garment being removed.

When she stood naked, save her silk bra and panties, she took a step forward and leaned into him, her hands sliding slowly up his sides. "Chakotay," she purposefully added a huskier quality to her voice, then leaned even closer and smoothed her lips across his jaw. Yet the entire time her heart threatened to leap out of her chest it was beating so hard.

A growl rumbled deep within him, his hands swept out to clasp her arms and hold them against her body. He had every intention of pushing her away from him, but then he looked at her. There were tears in her eyes, tears of fear and of pain. This was costing her more than she would openly admit.

They beckoned him, her eyes, as she stared up at him, unblinking, and waiting. His fingers tightened around her arms, and he tried to control himself, but as his eyes swept down her body the very last twig holding his control in balance snapped in two.

Kathryn saw it the moment it happened, and a jolt of fear ran down her spine, then everything happened much to quickly for her to even think of stopping it now. One moment she was standing in front of him, the next she was restrained against the bed, Chakotay's large body pressing her into the mattress as his hands slid over her. He ripped her bra and panties from her body before she even realized what was going on.

His hands were caressing her body, molding to her curves, sweeping over her with almost more intensity than she could handle. His lips and tongue tasted her, but never once did he kiss her.

And then just as she began to respond to his fevered caresses he was inside of her, moving with a rhythm too fast and hard for her to keep up with. She curled her fingers into the bedding beneath her and held on as her body was pummeled with each thrust.

But before it even had a chance to begin, it was over. She felt the warm rush of his release filling her body, and then his weight against her as he began to slowly relax. Tears stung her eyes once more, at the injustice of it. Her body ached, not from the harshness of it, but from the wanting of more.

She held herself completely still as his chest heaved, and waited, hardly breathing for him to roll off of her. Instead he only shifted slightly to the side, putting more of his weight on the mattress. But still his arm remained curled around her waist, and his leg was still thrown over her lower body.

It was then that he passed out. She held her breath for several long, terrifying seconds, but when she heard the sound of his even breathing she relaxed somewhat. She would have tried to wiggle out from beneath him, but the dead weight of his arm and leg pressed her firmly into the mattress. She was too unwilling to wake him, for he needed his rest, so instead she let out a long frustrated sigh, and lay there, waiting.

Time had passed excruciatingly slowly until she herself had finally drifted to sleep. A sleep haunted by dreams of the man currently lying next to her. In them he spoke to her, murmuring words of love and encouragement as his hands swept slowly over her body.

She shivered as cool air caressed her skin left wet by his kisses, and moaned softly as his tongue danced across her nipple. Fire burned within her, pooling between her thighs as he lapped languidly at her flesh. One hand molded itself to her breast, caressing and squeezing while the other one slid slowly down her body. His fingers swept lightly across her auburn curls, drawing a soft gasp from her, and pulling her hips from the bed to arch toward him.

His teeth tugged at her nipple, pulling it into his mouth while rolled from side to side on her pillow. His hand pushed insistently against her thighs, parting them for him. He curled one of his legs around hers, holding it wide, while his hand caressed her inner thigh. She arched toward him, moaning softly as his fingers danced slowly toward her burning center. When the tips of fingers brushed across her wet folds, she let out a little "ooh," and sighed deeply.

She could feel his hands on her body, but tried to see his face and couldn't, but soon was too busy rotating her hips against his fingers to care. He had carefully dipped two fingers within her aching body, pressing into her and withdrawing slowly. She moaned at the loss and gasped as they sank deeply back into her.

His lips danced across her chest as he began to work his way downward, leaving a wet trail down her chest and over her belly. Her stomach muscles danced beneath his skilful tongue as it darted forward to lavish her navel.

She heard him grunt with approval when her back arched off the bed, allowing him sink his fingers deeper into her. When his tongue slid along her swollen folds she thought she'd die from the sparks of pleasure that shot through her body.

With his fingers thrusting in and out of her body and his tongue swirling around her sensitive nub, her mind and body were a haze of sensations.

Then just as every night in this dream, his free hand snaked slowly up her body to cup her breast, squeezing and caressing it while the contractions started to build deep within her body. The ache was there, ever rising upward, just ready to break through the control he had on her body, and it held, causing her body to stiffen and strain toward it.

And then the tremors began, rising from within her body, causing her to buck against his mouth and fingers. Her back arched off the bed, and her hands reached for his shoulders, her nails biting into his flesh. Her eyes flew open, and her lips parted to let out what could have been a loud cry, but the force of her release knocked her breathless and no sound was made.

Her body continued to tremble and contract until several moments after the initial dam had been broken, but as she began to relax and her mind began to clear she realize that had been no dream.

Kathryn's eyes grew to the size of saucers at the sight of Chakotay cradled between her legs. Still somewhat trembling from the aftershocks, she opened her mouth, but no sound was forthcoming. It was ridiculous, really, and still she felt the strong urge to cover herself. She'd probably have done it too if it hadn't been for him lying atop the covers.

"Good morning," he whispered softly, a tentative smile gracing his lips. Yet she could see the uncertainty in his eyes; it touched her more than anything else could. "I . . . well . . ." he trailed off, taking a deep breath. "I wanted to apologize . . . make it up to you somehow. I . . ." He studied her face for a moment, "Did I hurt you?"

She shook her head, but still made no sound.

"I'm sorry," he looked away.

It was then that Kathryn found her voice, but she felt she didn't need it to convey her feelings. Moving slowly, almost hesitantly, she reached for him to cup his face between her palms, gently forcing him to look at her once more. She found her own emotions were mirrored in his dark eyes: uncertainty, even fear and . . . desire. It was the last that shook her the most, reminding her of why she was with him, why they were doing this.

It was a sobering thought.

Pulling back, it was Kathryn's turn to avert her eyes. She wanted this to be more than just a cure, more than just a medical treatment, as unorthodox as it may be, but that was probably just wishful thinking on her part. He hadn't even kissed her, for crying out loud! He had apologized to her! Kathryn couldn't help but wonder what for. Did he regret sleeping with her? Had he felt compelled to wake her like this? The very idea sent a stabbing pain right through her heart, and she let go of his face to wrap her arms around herself, hugging herself tight, shivering from the cold that gripped her.

"Kathryn . . ."

Her name, spoken with so much - what? Affection? Sorrow? She didn't know anymore, closing her eyes as if by doing that she could shut out his voice, too. Silence stretched out between them, and when she finally felt him move, it was all she could do to not break into tears. He was leaving her. He had gotten what he had needed, he wasn't in immediate danger anymore and now he was - kissing her?

Kathryn's eyes sprang open at the first brush of his mouth against hers. Their lips were barely touching, the kiss feather-light, yet her immediate reaction to it was to gasp in surprise.

Chakotay seized the opportunity and let his mouth work hers open, pulling her full bottom lip between his teeth to sucking on it. Snaking his tongue past her lips, he dived into her warmth and sought out hers. She couldn't help but sigh into his mouth, overwhelmed by his assault of her senses, all her senses, caressing his tongue with hers before pushing it back into his mouth and following with hers.

Kathryn could feel his hands gently pulling her arms away from her body, and her already quick heartbeat accelerated even more. She briefly wondered why the barest of touches could set her nerve endings on fire, when it hadn't been quite like that before, but all coherent thought quickly fled her mind, as he used his weight to his advantage and caused her to lay back down on the bed. All the while his sensuous lips never left hers.

With his hand he cupped her cheek, then let that same hand slide slowly down her face, following the curve of her neck, and slipped it across her shoulder to slide down her arm. In doing so his thumb brushed across the side of her breast, causing her to gasp into his mouth. Then she moaned when his hand slid back up to gently cup her breast, his thumb lightly brushing across her nipple. Her back arched slightly off the bed, pushing her breast further into his teasing hand, all the while their mouths continued an erotic dance for control.

His fingers gently caressed her breast for several moments, lightly twisting and pulling at her nipple. Then slowly he let his hand trail downward over her stomach, a small smile forming against her lips when her stomach muscles contracted beneath his touch. Only then did he begin to pull away from their kiss; his lips trailed over her jaw, while below his fingers were beginning to lightly tangle in her damp curls. She parted her legs for him and arched into his hand, a husky moan leaving her throat even as his lips smoothed over her collarbone.

Kathryn was expectant of his next move, but when it finally came, it caught her by surprise, as he slowly rolled her over until she came to rest on her stomach. The following could only be described as divine. Chakotay let his hands slowly travel the length of her back, kneading and brushing, relaxing and arousing her at the same time. There wasn't one millimeter of her skin that he didn't cover, both by his skilful hands and soft lips. While he let his hands work their magic on her tense shoulders, his mouth began trailing soft kisses down her spine, making her shiver in delight.

Kathryn involuntarily spread her legs a bit farther apart when his hands reached her lower back, hoping he would seize the opportunity and dip lower still. Instead, Chakotay completely ignored her sex and kept massaging her, gently kneading her firm buttocks then moving ever downward until he reached her small feet. She was moaning into her pillow by now, every nerve in her body on fire. Squirming and wiggling beneath him, she tried to roll onto her back again to release some of the tension, but he would have none of it. His broad hands held her in place while his head dipped to nibble on her skin on his way upward.

His hands trailed masterfully over her back, working slowly upward, then reversed. She shivered as they once more slid over her buttocks, as much out of embarrassment as pleasure. But when his fingers dipped slightly inward, brushing against her damp folds, her throaty moan was all pleasure.

Chakotay was teasing her, sliding his thick finger along her folds, but avoiding her clitoris. He did everything to drive her insane, and what was even worse, she knew it yet couldn't do anything about it. Kathryn was beyond thinking, beyond caring; she could only feel. Feel how he was driving her mad, how he brought her close, but never once did he let achieve orgasm.

By the time he gently rolled her on her back again, she was trembling from pure lust, a fine layer of sweat covering her entire body. "Chakotay," she breathed, reaching for him. She longed to let her hands slide through his hair, which, as she knew, was very soft. But even more than that, she wanted to kiss him, hold him close, and above all that, have him deep inside her.

Chakotay's eyes shined brightly with mischief, and he leaned forward, clasping her hands in his and pressing them into the mattress on either side of her head. His head bent over her as he hovered above her body, his lips trailing lightly across her face. He brushed a trail of kisses across her temple and her forehead, smoothing his gentle lips across her eyelids, and then placed a tender kiss on the tip of her nose. He kissed the corners of her mouth, and then trailed his lips along her jaw, pausing only a moment to nibble at her ear before proceeding down the side of her neck.

Her nails bit into his hands as she squirmed beneath him, arching her body into his, moaning as her swollen lips just barely brushed against his erection. Chakotay's closed his eyes tightly at the feel of her, and fought against wanting to drive deeply into her right at that moment. Instead he left a trail of moisture across her chest as his tongue lapped and teased at each nipple. With his teeth he pulled one of them into his mouth, suckling gently at it, groaning himself when Kathryn's deep moan filled the room.

He suckled at each breast, and then continued downward, his mouth leaving a damp trail down the center of her belly. When he reached her navel his tongue darted forward to tease her, his lips curving upward into a smile as she wiggled beneath him. Ticklish was she, he filed that away for later and continued downward.

When he lay nestled between her legs, one of his hands now splayed across her stomach, the other lifting her leg over his shoulder, he met her gaze. Her eyes were clouded, glazed over with desire, and burning. Her lips were parted, allowing in shallow little gasps of air. He let his eyes rove downward over her, noting the way her chest rose and fell with each gasp of air, the way her breasts moved with each one. Then he bent toward her, his lips brushing against her swollen lips. He inhaled the scent of her, and let out another deep groan. Then slowly he leaned toward her and trailed his tongue along her opening.

Kathryn's head fell backward onto the bed as her whole upper body arched. She would have bucked against him, but he was holding her firmly to the mattress. Her cry filled the room, ringing off the walls as his tongue slid between her damp lips to slide slowly in and out of her body. Her entire lower body vibrated, she tried to thrust against each movement he made, but he kept her immobile. And then his tongue slid upward to swirl around her swollen nub, drawing cries from deep within her throat. But when his teeth latched onto her, and suckled her into his mouth she screamed. The sound turned into a grunt of frustration as he pushed her toward climax and then pulled her back again.

Kathryn's hands flailed against the mattress, the headboard, trying to find anything to latch on to as he slowly brought her back up again, but refused to let her fall.

"Chak-o-tay!" She lifted her head and stared at him, eyes pleading, "I - "

He rose over her, one hand going into her hair as his mouth clamped down on hers. Their tongues mated fiercely, each of them groaning in the other's mouth.

Without warning, Chakotay lifted her other leg over his shoulder and drove into her. Kathryn cried out at the sudden intrusion, but her body immediately responded to his hard, deep thrusts, slamming her hips into him. Her low-pitched moans soon grew into loud shrieks when he bent her legs as far up as they would go for even deeper penetration, immobilizing her in the process.

Kathryn really had lost all control over the situation now, yet it excited her immensely. Her arms snaked around his back, finding his ass and drawing him in even deeper. Her fingernails dug into his buttocks, but that only served to spur him on. Increasing the pace, he panted into her face, his mouth dipping down to roughly kiss her every once in a while.

Chakotay realized that he probably was bruising her, but didn't particularly care at the moment, caught up in the feeling of moving deep within her womanhood. Because he kept her immobilized, the only way for her to move was to clench her inner walls around his member every time he pulled almost all the way out, only to plunge back into her. Her ministrations quickly drove him insane.

He felt his release quickly building, but held back. Determined to bring her with him this time, he slid a hand between their pounding bodies and began tease her swollen folds. She cried out just as his mouth descended once more on hers, drinking in her cries.

When she began to tremble against him he pulled out of her and fell back on his haunches. She reached for him immediately, her brow furrowing in confusion, her body aching at the loss. Chakotay grasped one of her hands and lifted her with him, then turned her in front of him, and pushed her onto her hands and knees.

Realization dawned for Kathryn and she gripped the headboard in front of her for support and pushed back against him, encouraging him. She groaned loudly, and thrust against him as he entered her from behind, his rigid length sinking deeply between her swollen folds.

When he was fully encased within her trembling body he sat back and pulled her with him, holding her tightly to his body as he began to thrust again, much slower this time, grinding his hips against her in an almost circular movement.

Kathryn's hands gripped his thighs, her nails sinking into his flesh as one of his hands slid up her side and around to cup her breast, while his other hand slid along her waist then between her thighs to once again tease her swollen nub.

Kathryn cried out and angled her head over her shoulder, capturing and holding Chakotay's lips in a fierce kiss. She threw a hand back to curl behind his neck, holding him firmly in place as she began to counter rotate against him.

Chakotay's fingers swirled around her swollen nub, sending jolts of pleasure shooting through her lower body. Above his other hand rolled her pebbled nipple between his fingers, his movements drawing deep guttural sounds from within his lover's body. Again he felt his release approaching, and quickened his movements, as against him Kathryn's body began to tense and tremble.

She cried out into his mouth as the quaking began, the ache within her lower body building and increasing until her back arched. She felt it, just on the horizon, waiting for her, and her entire body tensed as Chakotay thrust within her. Their kiss was broken as the strain of release rose over them, a tidal wave hovering just out of reach.

The shooting ache of pleasure was almost painful, Kathryn's hands flailed, reaching for her lover, curling in the bedding. Then her entire body bucked as the pressure broke, her inner walls contracted once, almost painfully as the tidal wave crashed over her. Her head fell back against Chakotay's shoulder, her scream filling the room around them. And then she felt him explode within her, his warm release filling her body, his cries joining hers to ring off the walls.

She bucked wildly against him, contractions and waves of pleasure rolling through her entire body. Chakotay held her to him, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist, as she shook against him. He brought her down slowly, gently murmuring into her ear and caressing her body as the quivering subsided.

Kathryn shivered as the occasional contraction echoed through her body, and collapsed against him, weak, sated, and very exhausted.

Chakotay, just as drained of all energy as she was, gently lowered her slightly trembling body back on the bed, then lay down next to her, pulling the bed sheets over both of them. Kathryn actually was asleep before her head touched the pillow, yet she instinctively snuggled closer to him. Smiling down at her sleeping form, he draped one leg over hers in a possessive manner. Perhaps, he thought, she wouldn't allow that if she were still awake. The thought somewhat dampened his good mood, and his smile faded away, but then determination kicked in. He'd be damned if this had been their only time together! Of course, he had to admit to himself, the circumstances of their first lovemaking had been rather uncommon, and probably weren't the best basis for a relationship.

Watching her silently for a moment, he felt a wave of tenderness wash over him. Medical emergency or not, she had been enjoying it. He wasn't going to let go of her ever again, and she'd better realize it soon. However, he didn't have any clue as to how to go about that. She'd been keeping him at arm's length for years, which meant she was probably going to do just that again when she woke up, out of habit.

Just then a plan began to form in his mind, and a lazy grin spread across his face. Yes, he'd have her again, and soon. That thought in mind, Chakotay drifted off to sleep himself.

*

Kathryn stretched luxuriously, only slightly grimacing as muscles that had gone long unused began to protest to her movement. She gave a contented sigh and smiled as she rolled onto her side in the big bed, her arm automatically seeking out the form beside her. All she encountered however was a half empty bed. Her eyes opened immediately and she lifted herself onto her elbows to look around the room. It too was empty, save herself.

"Chakotay?" She scooted to the side of the bed, and wrapping the sheet around herself, padded toward the large bathroom, "Chakotay?" She called out a second time, but found the bathroom also empty. She frowned as she walked through the bedroom, moving beyond it to check the rest of the suite, a tiny fear building in the pit of her stomach. When she found the outer rooms also empty she returned to the bedroom, refusing to give in to the fist of pain that was clenching around her heart. Instead she looked around the bed for a note, or anything to let her know where he'd gone or if he'd be back. She found nothing but the remnants of her own clothing. Everything of Chakotay's had been removed from the room, and from the cool feel of the sheets where he'd been sleeping, she had to guess that it had been long before her body had even considered awakening.

Tears stung her eyes then, and she plopped down onto the side of the bed. She lifted a hand to her chest, and clenched her eyes against the dampness. She had known coming in to this what she was doing, and she had suspected it would be a one-time affair. Her chest heaved once, and she clamped a hand over her mouth to contain the sound of the heart-wrenching sob. She waged a battle within herself for several moments, then finally her heart winning out she lay back on the bed and wrapped her arms around herself while heart breaking sobs shook her body. She had only had a taste of what she wanted, and now she let herself grieve for what could never be. And when she'd finished, she picked herself up, dressed, then she squared her shoulders and prepared to return to her ship, her first officer, and her lonely bed.

"Janeway to Sickbay," She hailed the Doctor from the transporter room, fighting back a grimace as she stepped down from the transporter padd, her muscles once again reminding her of the night before, and with any other ending, it would have been a sweet reminder. "Doctor," she fought back the tears, refusing to shed any more, "has our - your patient checked in yet?"

"Captain, I was just about to hail you, yes as a matter of fact he was in here this morning. I did a through examination, and with a few days of rest I do believe the Commander will make a complete recovery."

"That's good to hear," she was relieved, yet she sighed. "However, I'm sure I don't have to remind you to keep the Commander's condition and treatment to yourself."

The EMH sounded almost hurt, "Of course not Captain, I will however make a note of the condition in the Commander's medical records, the treatment however, as unorthodox as it was, is a private matter."

She stepped into a turbolift and leaned back against the wall, "Thank you Doctor." She closed the comlink and ordered the lift to the bridge. She still had to make the final trade arrangements with Ambassador Ryrke. She sighed again, that was not a meeting she was really looking forward to.

*

Harry Kim was probably the only one who had a clue as to what was going on on the bridge that day, or so he thought. He'd been surprised to see Commander Chakotay stepping off the turbolift earlier on, seeing as the older man was supposed to be in Sickbay. One didn't need to be a genius to put two and two together, though. Harry, having been witness to the state Chakotay had been in the day before, knew that this quick a recovery could mean only one thing: Voyager's First Officer had found release. What Harry could only suspect, however, was who provided that release. Perhaps the ambassador's daughter had lent an aiding hand? He just didn't know, and when he was honest, he didn't really need to know, either; it was none of his business.

An hour later, Harry still wasn't closer to an answer. Despite his resolution not to keep thinking about the events of the other day, he couldn't help watching Chakotay. The OPS station was the perfect place for that anyway, as he had no way of not noticing what was or was not going on. Chakotay was behaving normally, almost as though nothing had ever happened and he'd never been close to dying at all. That, in and of itself, was what bothered Harry and only served to confirm his suspicions that something was indeed going on.

Harry was reasonably sure that he had got his answer when Captain Janeway left her Ready Room. An odd expression crossed her face when she saw Chakotay on the bridge, but she quickly schooled her features. If Harry didn't know better, he'd even say she was slightly hesitant to sit down in the command chair, perhaps even considering going back to her Ready Room. If that wasn't strange behavior, he didn't know what was.

Chakotay, for his part, didn't seem to be perturbed in any way, Harry noticed. The big Indian briefly looked up and glanced at the Captain when he heard the door slide open, and nodded in acknowledgement.

Captain Janeway eventually shook off her indecision and headed for her usual seat. "Report," she demanded in her best command voice, and Harry perked up. She normally didn't use that tone unless they were in a dangerous situation and there wasn't time for pleasantries. However, Voyager was still in orbit around Naver, without any crisis looming above their heads. Something had to be bothering her, Harry decided, and it probably had to do with Chakotay, from the looks if it.

"The last supplies have been beamed aboard," Chakotay reported. "Neelix and B'Elanna are going through them now. Both of them will have a report for you by 1400 hours."

"Very well." Janeway didn't even spare him a brief glance but stared stubbornly ahead instead.

Harry sighed inwardly. This was going to be one hell of a day.

At the same time Harry was sighing, Kathryn was shifting in her seat. She crossed her legs and almost gasped at the friction the movement caused against her tender flesh.

The response, while oblivious to anyone else, did not go unnoticed by Chakotay, and unseen to Kathryn a small smile touched his lips. He settled comfortably into his own command seat and leaned to his right to check current readings on the console they shared. When she unconsciously shifted away from him, he smiled again and leaned back.

While behind Harry might have been dreading the coming hours, to Chakotay it was shaping up to be a very interesting afternoon. And beside him Kathryn was already thinking of excuses to leave the bridge.

Chakotay watched from the side while she fidgeted in her seat, before finally shaking his head and rising. "I'll be in my office Captain, catching up on yesterday's report, should you . . . need . . . me." He had put only the slightest bit of embellishment on it, but it was enough for her head to snap up, and for Harry to notice.

"Understood Commander," she bit out, once again staring straight ahead as he walked past her, leaving the bridge.

When the turbolift doors closed behind him, she let out a small sigh of relief. Her head fell back against her chair for a moment, and she let her eyes drift closed, then with a deep breath she lifted her head and prepared for the day ahead.

*

For the second time in a row, Kathryn Janeway's day had turned out to be one worth of repression. She had no idea just how she had managed to live through it, to keep up the Captain's façade when all she had really wanted to do was curl up and lick her wounds. Well, come to think of it, she hadn't been doing a good job at acting normal, she thought on her way back to her quarters.

Kathryn's was infinitely relieved that her shift had ended a couple of minutes ago. She felt that she couldn't have spent any more time on the bridge even if her life had depended on it. As it was, the exhaustion, both physical and emotional, was quickly getting the better of her, and it wouldn't do for the Captain of Voyager to have a breakdown on the bridge.

Finally reaching her quarters, Kathryn sighed and decided to soak in her bathtub as soon as possible. The hot bath might help her sore muscles relax, and ease the pain. Unfortunately, there was no way to ease the emotional pain as well. She didn't bother turning on the lights as she headed straight for her bathroom, knowing her quarters by heart.

"Took you a while to get here."

His voice made her stop dead in her tracks, and when she saw him coming out of her bathroom, clad in only a towel that was loosely wrapped around his waist, it was all she could do to keep from gaping openly at him. Staring she was, though, eyes wide in shock and confusion. His hair was still wet from the shower he had taken, and for just a moment, she was entranced by the small rivulets of water running down his smooth chest. Then she snapped out of it. "What are you doing here?" she demanded to know, and a detached part of her mind wondered if she had always sounded that shrill when she was caught totally off guard.

"Having a shower," Chakotay replied, as though it were only natural for a first officer to use his captain's bathroom. "What does it look like?"

Kathryn wasn't in the mood for games, though. Seeing him like this only served to remind her of the other day when he had left her before she had woken up. Slowly backing away, she tried to bring order to the chaos that was her emotions, hurt and anger battling for supremacy.

Chakotay's heart constricted at the play of emotions on her face, the pain in her eyes. Had he misjudged her? Underestimated her perhaps? "Kathryn . . ." Her name was a whisper on his lips as he stepped toward her.

She threw a hand up between them, "Don't!" She took two steps back for each step he took forward. "I think we both know what is going on here. And I'm - "

"You're what?" He took another step toward her, "Not having it?" He backed her into the bulkhead, and bent close toward her, "What Kathryn, tell me . . ." His breath was hot against her face, his lips barely touching her, their bodies millimeters apart yet not touching.

She pressed herself as close to the bulkhead as possible and fought back the swell of emotion building in her chest, she blinked back the tears, "What do you want from me?" She looked up at him finally and almost gasped at the intensity burning in his dark eyes. At a loss she said the first thing that came to her mind, "You left me . . ."

Chakotay's heart broke at the vulnerability in her eyes, the hurt burning there. "Oh baby . . ." That hadn't been his intention. And now he saw how badly he had indeed underestimated her. He had only wanted to spare her the embarrassment, to regroup and figure out a way to convince her she couldn't turn away from him again. But he saw it now, burning freshly in her eyes, in the trembling of her lower lip, instead of winning her heart he had broken it.

He lifted a hand to stroke her cheek, but she turned away from him, tears slipping past her control and down her cheeks. "Don't . . . leave . . . please?"

Unable to do that he cupped her chin and turned her head back to face him. "I'm sorry." He met her gaze, "I only meant to spare you an awkward awakening. Then the Doctor hailed me, and I thought - "

"What?" Her eyes flared with anger, "What did you think? That I would give my body to just anyone? That I would screw any member of my crew just to keep them alive? Yes, I admit maybe going into this I thought I could turn away but my god." She closed her eyes, "You didn't seem to want my help but I couldn't lose you, and even if you didn't want me any longer I couldn't help loving you." When he cupped her cheek again she jerked away, "What do you want? Why are you here?" When he cupped her cheek again she jerked away, "What do you want? Why are you here?"

"I would think that was obvious, Love." He reached for her again, one arm sliding around her waist, the other lifting her chin until their eyes met again. "I hadn't intended on walking away from you, or allowing you to walk away from me. I thought I made that much clear last night. The first time was for me, the second time was for you." He leaned forward and brushed a light kiss across her lips, noting the way she'd begun to tremble against him. "The last time was for us . . ." He leaned forward to kiss her, stopping only when their lips were millimeters apart and whispered his plea, "Kathryn?"

She stared into his eyes, a million objections, reasons, and questions running through her mind. But only one word coherent in it all. "Yes . . ." She met his kiss with her own, her arms going tightly around his neck as he lifted her against him. He swept one hand down her back and behind her knees, and easily swept her into his arms.

Chakotay turned toward the bed . . . their bed . . . and carried her to it, only releasing her to set her on her feet before it. Her jaw fell open when she saw it. "The Naveran government was only too happy to part with this small token of apology for my . . . predicament. I had it beamed here."

Kathryn looked from Chakotay to the bed and back to him, tilting her head to the left. The gesture touched her more deeply then she had thought possible, her eyes watering again. A lump had formed in her throat, and she couldn't get a word around it. Instead, her arms snaked around his neck to gently pull his head downward, meeting him halfway. She was finally beginning to believe him.

Chakotay sighed into her welcoming mouth, all the tension he had been feeling just a few moments ago rapidly fading. His arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer to him, while he began to nibble on her fuller bottom lip. That elicited a low moan from her and he repeated the action, but this time his tongue was caressing her lip at the same time.

Kathryn's hands wove themselves into his hair, to have something to hold on to as her knees began to buckle. He felt it too and picked her up again, carrying her the remaining couple of steps to the bed and letting her slide down his body until she lay on it. He took a moment to take in the beautiful picture before him, while she looked up at him with love shining in her eyes, her hair framing her face like a halo.

"Chakotay . . ." she whispered in that throaty voice of hers, reaching for him when he didn't come to her fast enough. The urge to be close to him was almost unbearable. He seemed to be feeling the same thing, though, snapping out of his trance-like state and settling next to her.

"I'm here," he assured in between showering her face with feathery kisses. "I'm not leaving you alone ever again."

That was all the reassurance Kathryn needed, and she closed her eyes at his touch, feeling rather than seeing him slowly, deliberately slowly, undressing her. Squirming beneath him, Kathryn tried to urge him on, but he would have none of that, taking his time, exploring her body inch by inch, as though this was their first time. And in a way that was even true, she realized with a start. The knowledge of this time being for no other reason than to enjoy each other was liberating, and she could revel in his ministration without feeling guilty for it.

There was no great emergency urging them on, their joining went beyond lust, beyond need, yet it was beautiful in its simplicity. Their bodies merged together slowly, this time out of pure love, free and untamed. They moved in perfect harmony, all doubts falling away as their bodies as well as their souls became one.

And this time as they fell asleep in each other's arms, there was no fear of the coming morning. For it would be a new beginning, and another chance for love. Love might be very complicated, but it could be very beautiful in its simplicity.

THE END

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