Beyond Miracle

Janeway sighed, it had been a long day and all she wanted was for the shift to end . . . Nothing had happened. That was usual when they were traveling between solar systems, but today was different. Usually, she would work, but there was nothing to be done, Voyager was running at full capacity for once. There were no plans to be made, they were in friendly space and the next solar system was part of the empire that they had allied with. It wasn't because of this that she wished to escape; it was because of the night before. Even just this analysis of her thoughts sparked of the heated and passionate memories from the night before . . .

When she had acted on instinct only. How things could have become so out of control was beyond her. Sure, she had been lonely . . . and drunk, but that was no reason to hit the sheets with her first officer. Not that she regretted having had sex, after all five years was a long time to live without any. Only that now she did have an impression of what her life could have been like if she hadn't been the captain and it was so damn hard to resist Chakotay when he was sitting next to her 8 hours a day, 7 days a week . . .

She sighed again, a little louder this time. There was no way she would look in his direction now. Janeway knew he was staring at her, possibly thinking along the same lines. Oh how she longed to rip off his clothes right now, right here, and repeat earlier actions. Even if just to see, how he would react to that. But of course, this was ridiculous. She could just imagine what Tuvok would do then. His eyebrow would most likely go where no eyebrow had gone before.

Chakotay moved slightly and Janeway looked up, an automatic reaction. Their eyes met and time stood still. In that split second the world fell away and they were back in her quarter's only inches away from each other . . .

Tuvok was watching his commanding officers from his station; they had been behaving strangely all morning, and now was no exception. It had been obvious that something had happened between them the moment they had stepped off the turbo lift, carefully avoiding each other's eyes. For the rest of the shift they had proceeded to play what the alpha shift bridge crew had lovingly named 'eye tag'. Harry, the only other person who could observe on them without being caught, had found this amusing and had watched them closely until he had spotted Tuvok's disapproving glare. He had then returned to his work with a newfound zest. Tuvok glanced back at the two chairs in front of him to see that Chakotay was watching Janeway intently. He shifted slightly in his chair and Janeway looked up automatically. Their eyes met and the tension on the bridge skyrocketed . . .

Suddenly, Paris groaned rather loud. Actually, it wasn't all of a sudden. He had been aware of the tension between his commanding officers throughout the entirety of alpha shift Usually, he would be pleased because he could smell sexual tension two miles against the wind. Today, however, Paris cursed his luck. In his position he had to depend on Harry, who kept sending him messages. Paris just couldn't afford to turn and watch them and it kept driving him insane.

Janeway and Chakotay had to break eye contact yet. The whole world around them had disappeared and they weren't even aware of Paris groaning. Only as Chakotay shifted position again did they realize where they were and what they were actually doing. With a knowing grin Janeway looked away, feeling a little sore herself. Last night they have used muscles they didn't even know existed and now they had to live with the consequences.

As she moved, one of those newly discovered muscles twinged, making her moan in pain. Tom couldn't resist it. "Hard night?" He asked the pair. In unison the pairs' heads snapped up and Tom almost visibly shrunk under their glares.

"What?" Janeway demanded.

Luckily at that moment Tom's bacon was saved as a wave of phaser fire hit Voyager. It seemed to have no origin at all because sensors didn't pick up any alien vessel.

"Captain!" Harry exclaimed suddenly, startling everybody.

"What is it, Mr. Kim?" She asked.

"An alien ship just decloaked off the . . ." Before he got time to say anything more the ship rocked under weapons fire and the lights went out.

Everyone braced for the next shot . . . but it didn't come.

Hesitantly Chakotay looked round. "Damage?" He asked Tuvok.

"Deck . . ." was all Tuvok got to say before the next shot came but this time more violently. Chakotay caught glimpses as he was thrown to the ground, of consoles exploding and heard his friends cry out in pain although they seemed so far away. The last thought before he hit the ground was of Kathryn. He looked, and saw her on the ground, her head surrounded by a pool of blood. His mind cried out at the sight of her thus but he no longer had any control as he slipped into unconsciousness . . .

Before the next wave of phaser fire had a chance to hit Voyager, Paris initiated evasive maneuvers. He didn't wait for any orders as his fingers flew over the console, skillfully avoiding further damage. Only after several moments did he realize that no one gave orders. Paris risked a short glance over his shoulder and noticed his commanding officers lying on the floor, unresponsive He figured since Tuvok didn't gave any command either that he also was injured.

"Emergency transport of Captain Janeway, Commander Chakotay, and Lt. Comm. Tuvok to sickbay!" Harry shouted.

Allowing himself a relieved sigh, Paris focused his attention back to his console. There was just no way that he could have done it himself for he needed both his hands to maneuver.

"Harry!" Paris shouted. "Target their weapons and engine! Fire when ready!"

"Aye," came the quick reply.

Then everything proceeded rather quickly. Apparently, the other ship's weapons were more advanced than Voyager's were, but their defenses were almost useless. After the first torpedo the other ship's shields were down, another wave of phaser fire took care of their weapons and engines. The last hit did give the aliens the rest, blowing their ship into pieces, allowing the debris to float through space. Though as Paris finally turned in his seat his gaze once more fell upon his captain and commander, still not in sickbay. He got past the initial shock, his training kicking in and ran to them, checking their pulses.

"Harry, the med kit!"

Harry did as he was told, running to the middle of the bridge, giving Paris what he wanted. Scanning first the captain then the commander with the tricorder, Paris knew they had to move quickly. The commander would be okay and recover soon, having just a few broken ribs, but the captain was another thing. She had internal bleeding and what was even more dangerous a skull fracture.

A voice behind Harry and Tom got their attention. "Ensigns, we ought to get them to sickbay," Tuvok announced.

"We could need a hand here. The captain has been dangerously injured. Transporters and communications are off line. We have to carry her," Paris said, having already begun to carefully lift her off the floor.

Tuvok and Harry attempted to lift the commander but, with Tuvok injured and Harry not that strong, they found he was too heavy. Meanwhile, Tom had carried his captain over to the turbolift only to discover that these too were off line. He cursed loudly and gently laid the captain down again. "Damnit!" He exclaimed.

"Ensign, that use of language will not help." Tuvok said in his usual demeanor. "It appears as if you will have to use the Jeffrey tubes to fetch help."

"But we don't know the state of the ship." Harry piped in.

"Then you shall have to accompany him. Moving the Captain in her present condition may prove fatal, you will either have to bring the transporters on line or fetch the doctor."

Tom nodded gravely and opened the hatch. Harry stood there for a second, looking around the bridge before Tom nudged him into the Jefferies tube.

"Good luck Ensign." Tuvok told Tom before he climbed into the hatch.

Tom smiled grimly. "You too Tuvok." He replied before disappearing into the hatch and shutting the door behind him.

*

Chakotay walked along the beautiful green meadow he had often visited before. Whenever he felt the need to talk he would enter the spirit world and would talk to his guide. This time is was different though. He knew that he wasn't meditating, knew he had been injured. Besides, his spirit guide, the female wolf, was missing. She hadn't joined him the second he had entered this world as she had usually done. So he kept walking until he reached the wood . . .

*

Tuvok began to worry, if a Vulcan was able to worry, that is, when he checked Voyager's most senior officers once more. The commander was all right, even if still unconscious. The captain's condition, however, started worsening. Her life signs grew weaker and her breathing became shallow . . .

*

There Chakotay caught sight of his spirit guide, lying nearby an old oak. She raised her head and looked up at him when she noticed him. Chakotay didn't immediately realize that he wasn't alone with his guide. But the tiny lizard was just too small as that he could have seen it right away.

"Why am I here?" he asked his guide.

The wolf didn't answer but gestured with her head towards the lizard. It didn't look too good. Its skin was way too pale for it to be healthy and it didn't move much. Looking puzzled, it was quite clear that Chakotay didn't get the meaning. Whose spirit guide was that? But then, pictures of Kathryn, lying on the bridge unconscious, came to his mind. His head snapped up and his eyes began to grow wide. That was when he heard a familiar voice, calling, "Chakotay?" He spun around and his eyes feel upon his captain . . .

"Chakotay?" She repeated, "Where are we?" It was then that she spotted her spirit guide. Concerned by its weak state she knelt beside it and frowned. "What's going on?" She asked no one in particular.

"Kathryn," it spoke to her, its voice barely a whisper, "I am dying. As are you."

"What?" She demanded. "But surely I would know?"

"I exist purely in the spiritual world, where as you exist in the physical world. Your physical body is dying, and because of that, I am also dying." Kathryn just stared at her spirit guide. Chakotay and the wolf watched on with worried looks. "There is no point in trying to explain all of this Kathryn," the lizard continued, "There is nothing that can be done. It is up to your crew mates now."

*

Harry and Tom sprinted along Voyager's corridors, having already checked sickbay for the doctor. Unfortunately, his program was off line as well and Harry hadn't been able to get it running with only the spare equipment in sickbay. The only hope they had left was that they would find B'Elanna or some other engineer in time. Hopefully, one of them could fetch the Doctor's program, the turbolifts or the transporters. But whichever they would get working again it had to be quick. Paris was well aware that Captain Janeway's injuries were severe.

"Finally!" Harry managed between gasps as they reached engineering. As they entered Paris immediately called for Voyager's Chief Engineer because he didn't see her right away.

"What is it, Tom?! We're quite busy with getting the warp core back to work!"

"Forget about the warp core!" Tom yelled. "If you don't get the Doctor, the turbolifts or the transporters back to work, the Captain will die!"

"What?!" she asked shocked.

"I'll explain later. Now do something!"

Instantly, B'Elanna began working. First, she checked the systems Paris had talked about. What she found didn't look too promising. The Doctor's program was badly damaged - repairable but it would take time. The 'lifts were equally hard to repair. That left only room for the transporters. B'Elanna hoped against hope that they'd be quick to fix.

"How much time do you think the Captain has left?" she asked while having already started repairing the transporters. "I think I can fix the transporters in ten minutes."

"Make it five. The Captain probably doesn't have ten minutes." Addressing Harry, Tom continued. "Don't just stand there, help! I don't know enough about this stuff. I'll be in sickbay." Then he left engineering all the while praying that his limited medical skills were good enough to pull Captain Janeway through.

*

Kathryn watched Chakotay wide-eyed. "I'm dying? I can't die. I don't want to. I won't!" She began pacing in front of him, alternating between crying and laughing, until Chakotay stopped her, placing a hand on her right shoulder.

"Stop it, Kathryn. You can't do much about it. You must believe that our crew will get you through. And don't you give up!" Her beautiful blue eyes met his warm brown ones, seeing his pain in them. She realized then that if she died he would die as well, even if not a physical death.

"Oh Chakotay," she sighed. "I'm not ready to give you up just yet . . . I love you way too much."

Chakotay froze but before he had time to speak the wolf padded over to Kathryn and nuzzled her hand. She stopped and tickled its ears. Chakotay was taken back by this show of affection by his animal guide to another.

"Surely you believe that your crew will get you through this." The wolf said gently.

"Yes." She replied, "but I hate not being able to do anything."

The wolf looked back at the lizard whose skin had become even paler than before and sighed softly. "As do I."

*

Tuvok suddenly realized that there was a hissing sound coming from behind him. He looked around and immediately knew what it was. Air was escaping from the bridge. Tuvok frowned. That meant that the captain had even less time. From the low intensity of the sound the leak seemed to be minor. Anyway the loss of precious oxygen was fatal. Tuvok had only two options left. Either he and the captain would stay at the bridge and risk death through suffocation or he would move her into the Jeffrey tube with the risk of further internal bleeding for her. He decided to wait three more minutes before taking such a step. His calculations showed that the oxygen would last for approximately five more minutes, enough to change location when the need arose.

*

Pacing the length of sickbay, Tom waited for the captain's arrival. He was on the verge of breaking down of worry . . .

*

"How is it now?" Harry asked the agitated Chief Engineer.

"Almost!" she shouted back. "Try another frequency."

Harry worked frantically at his station. Sweat was running down his face, complicating things because it kept running into his eyes. Harry wouldn't stop though. The transporters were almost back online, just a few more adjustments . . .

"Got it! Beam the captain directly to sickbay!"

"Locking onto her," B'Elanna said. "Initiating transport . . . Finished!"

*

Tom jumped when the captain appeared in sickbay. Without a pause he ran to her side and started treating her.

*

The wolf, the lizard and Chakotay lay out underneath a large tree and watched Kathryn pace back and forth, trying to wear away her desire to do something. Suddenly the lizard gave out a small fit of chokes. They all looked at it in alarm.

"What's happening?" Kathryn demanded.

"I can't tell," The wolf lied. "She is getting weaker."

Janeway watched in concern as the lizard coughed. Chakotay meanwhile was half way between cold fear and terror at what was happening in the real world. He knew vaguely what was happening. Kathryn's image here in the spirit world was getting stronger and the lizard was growing sicker by the second.

That meant that Kathryn was dying.

The wolf leant forward and licked the lizard, trying to keep it moist.

On impulse, Chakotay stood and took Kathryn's arm, leading her away. "I think we should walk for a bit." He suggested.

Kathryn looked at him and then at the two spirit guides. The pleading in his eyes made her agree. "OK." She said softly.

The two headed off into the forest. When they were out of earshot, the wolf turned to her companion and licked it softly. "The time is approaching for those two," She said softly.

"Yes," the lizard rasped with a weak grin.

They walked for a bit before anyone spoke.

"Kathryn . . ."

"Chakotay . . ." They said in unison then both laughed softly.

"You first." Chakotay offered.

"I was just curious, why are you here with me? And why can I not do anything about it?"

Chakotay smiled softly. "My spirit guide brought me here for some reason . . . probably to help you in some way . . . as for you not being able to do anything, that's because your injury is physical and we are in the spirit realm."

"But surely we can return to the physical world?"

"I can, but I don't think you can just yet."

"Well this has got to be better than the matrix alien." She chuckled quietly. He smiled at her. There was a pause for a second before she gestured to him. "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"What were you going to ask?"

He took a breath and smiled guiltily. "I wanted to know . . ." his eyes went serious, ". . . did you mean it?"

"Did I mean what?"

"When you said . . . that you loved me."

Her expression softened and she leant forward and kissed him. "Of course I did. Surely that incident on the bridge and last night in particular showed that."

At the mention of last night, Chakotay's lips curved into a slow grin. "Well, I didn't want to assume."

She leant into him and . . .

The wolf came running up to them. "Quick, that's it!"

Both looked confused. "What?"

"The more you touch her Chakotay, the more she becomes part of your world again."

The two looked at each other and the memories of the night before came flooding back for the second time that day . . .

Knowing exactly what they had to do, the space between them began to vanish until there was nothing left but a tiny layer of air. Slowly they sank to the floor all the while kissing each other mercilessly. The wolf silently padded away as they started yet another round of an ancient dance that was even older than time.

As Chakotay's guide approached Kathryn's it noticed that the lizard looked a little better, although weak all the same. The wolf smiled, knowing that the healing process had already begun.

*

The Captain's life sign grew stronger each passing minute and Tom was thankful for it although the why was beyond him. When he had checked her injuries he had realized that they were just too severe for him to effectively treat her. However, Tom had tried to stabilize her as best as possible but to no avail . . . until a few minutes ago. For some reason the Captain's internal bleeding had stopped so Tom now had a chance to treat her wounds at least some of them. He started with the most serious one, the skull fracture, when he was interrupted by the COM system.

"Torres to Paris."

"Go ahead."

The voice of the Chief Engineer got a serious tone. "How's the Captain?"

"Stabilized at the moment, but I need the help of the Doctor anyway," he answered while he continued to work on his captain. "How long until his program is online again?"

"Harry and I are working on it. It'll take us another thirty minutes but we'll hurry up . . . Do you think she can hold on that long?"

"Yes, I think so. But hurry anyway. Paris out."

Suddenly, the doors to sickbay opened and Tuvok stumbled in until he fell and remained on the floor unconscious . . .

Tom sighed, that was all he needed. He hurried over to the unconscious Tuvok and started to scan him with a medical tricorder. As Tom watched the readings, he noticed the serious decrease in the amount of oxygen in Tuvok's blood stream . . . making sure he was stable, he acted on a hunch and ran to the main console and to try to access the bridge's environmental controls. After much swearing and cussing later, he managed to bypass enough of the damaged systems to access it. The readings glared out at him from the console panel . . . the oxygen levels on the bridge were dropping rapidly and the unconscious Chakotay was still up there . . .

Tom slapped his combadge. "Paris to Torres." He demanded.

"Yes Tom?" She replied.

"B'Elanna, do we have enough energy to transport one more person?"

There was a pause before she answered. "No. After I transported the captain, the circuits blew again."

"Damn!" Tom swore. "Then can you seal the bridge? We're losing oxygen from somewhere and Chakotay's still up there."

"I'll get to it." B'Elanna replied and signed off.

Tom hurried over to the Captain to make sure she was stable and then returned to the console to keep an eye on the readout.

*

The lizard's breathing became stronger with each passing second and the animal guides knew that things were about to reach their conclusion between Kathryn and Chakotay. The lizard watched its companion; she was smiling softly. Both felt the sudden surge of energy and heard the cries as their human counterparts' souls were joined for eternity.

*

Tom heard a sharp intake of breath from behind him. One of the consoles started to beep. Rushing over to the captain, he saw that she was breathing on her own . . .

*

Chakotay looked down at the woman he loved and smiled. Her image was getting fainter every second. She smiled up at him and kissed him gently on the lips before her image disappeared altogether . . .

*

Kathryn sat up with a jerk and looked around. "Chakotay?" was the first thing that came to her lips. Tom placed a hand on her shoulder and tried to get her to lie down on the biobed again. She looked at him. "Tom, what's going on, where am I?"

"You hit your head when that alien ship attacked, you were quite seriously injured . . ."

"Where's everyone else?" She looked him directly in the eye.

"All of the injuries on the other decks are being dealt with. Harry and B'Elanna are in engineering trying to seal the bridge and get the transporters and the Doc' on line."

"Seal the bridge?"

"Yes, there's a breach."

Janeway nodded and asked very slowly, "What happened to Chakotay . . . ?"

Tom looked at his feet. "He was knocked unconscious. We couldn't move him . . . he's still on the bridge."

Janeway's head snapped up and looked at him. "What?" She jumped off of the biobed and headed toward the door.

"Captain, where are you going?" Tom called after her.

"To the bridge." She replied over her shoulder.

"You can't! You need to stay her . . ." Tom sighed as he watched the captain disappear and a moment later he followed her, figuring that they needed at least a substitute for a doctor.

*

As Janeway arrived at the bridge, having crawled through an endless amount of Jeffrey tubes it seemed, B'Elanna was already present, sealing the breach. Janeway was momentarily distracted by B'Elanna's presence, so she didn't immediately go to Chakotay. As Tom emerged from the hatch behind her and instantly hurried over to the commander, however, Janeway followed closely behind, a very concerned expression crossing her face as her eyes fell upon Chakotay her . . . What exactly was he to her? Her first officer? Certainly. Best friend? Thank God. Lover . . . ? Janeway couldn't be sure about that. She didn't know how much of their experience had been real. But one thing she was certain of, she loved him very, very much.

"How is he, Tom?" Janeway asked after several moments of silence in which Tom scanned Chakotay up and down.

"He's going to be all right. He has two broken ribs and is still unconscious, but he's going to make a full recovery. We need to get him off the bridge, however, but we can't move him before the turbolifts are working again."

"Good," Janeway said then addressed B'Elanna who has just finished sealing the breach. "How long until the turbolifts are working again?"

Harry picked that moment to contact her. "Kim to Torres."

"Go ahead."

"I've just fixed the turbolifts. You can move Commander Chakotay now."

"Thank you. Torres out."

Kathryn and B'Elanna simultaneously breathed a relieved sigh, and started, together with Tom, carrying Chakotay to the turbolift.

*

Everything was beginning to get back to normal. Engineering had managed to repair all systems and Voyager once again was space worthy. Tuvok had left sickbay only one hour after his collapse, against Doc's wishes. Kathryn had spent endless hours overseeing the progress, alternating between spending time in her ready room reading reports and making an appearance in engineering herself. Chakotay had regained consciousness two hours prior and was now resting in his quarters. Neither Kathryn nor Chakotay had talked about what had happened in the spiritual realm, unsure of how to approach the subject with the other. Both had spent their time occupying themselves with work and it wasn't until a couple of evenings later that they saw each other.

Janeway had been walking down the corridor, talking to Tom Paris when Chakotay had rounded a corner and slammed into her. The padd she had been carrying flew out of her hand and both went tumbling to the floor. Janeway looked up and their eyes locked . . . memories came flooding back to both as it had several times before. The heat of what was before and what was to come fusing their gazes. It was only when Tom coughed meaningfully that they regained their grip on reality.

Chakotay swallowed and stood up, offering a hand to his captain. She took it and her skin prickled at his touch. "Sorry Captain, I didn't see you there." he said softly.

"That's ok," She replied, picking up her padd.

There was a choking noise from Tom's direction. Both turned and saw that he was stifling his laughter. The glares he received were enough to have stopped even the most determined Klingon in is tracks. Tom's grin faded and he took a step back.

"Urm . . . I think I'm going to go now captain . . . can we continue this talk tomorrow?"

Janeway just nodded, her eyes still as cold as ice. Tom hastily retreated. Sighing, she turned back to Chakotay who was watching her.

"So where do we go from here?" He asked, deciding to avoid the small talk.

Kathryn, when she was honest, had no clue at all. Too many things still didn't make sense to her. How real had their encounter been? Could she forget about it if she tried hard enough? Did she want to . . . ? That was the most important question she realized with a start. Did she really want to forget about her feelings and make Chakotay and herself miserable in the process? Shaking her head, she snapped back into reality and found Chakotay still with her, watching her intently, patiently waiting for an answer.

"Let's discuss it in private," Kathryn said, figuring it would take them some time to get everything straightened out.

Chakotay nodded shortly then followed her along the corridor to her quarters. He had no idea what was about to happened, although his fear of rejection was somewhat subdued because Kathryn hadn't tried to discuss it in her ready room. If she had, there would be no hope for him at all for he would be a business call and she would try to rationalize their situation. But then again that she had decided to talk with him in her quarters didn't have to mean anything. Chakotay slightly shook his head, trying to clear his mind. Brooding over possibilities didn't do him any good; he would prepare himself for the worst and that's it.

The first thing she noticed when she entered her quarters was the feeling of loneliness . . .

"Computer lights." She ordered.

The lights immediately came on, a harsh glare that was unnatural to her eyes, completely the opposite of the soft glow that was characteristic of Chakotay's quarters. She shivered.

"Kathryn," A soft, warm voice spoke from behind her.

She turned and faced Chakotay . . . he looked sad. Opening his mouth to speak, she realized what he thought she was going to say.

"Kathryn," he repeated, "I'll understand if you want to . . ." he searched for the right word, ". . . end, what has happened between us and forget about it." He looked up at her and into her eyes. "I won't say anything, I'll go back to how it was before if that's what you want . . ."

Kathryn, the woman, looked at the surroundings she lived in and felt cold. She looked at Chakotay and smiled softly. Here was the man that she loved, the man that seemed to make her life almost worth living at times and she had considered even for a second turning him away just because she was scared. The realization struck her like a bolt of lightning. She had been scared . . . scared of losing him like the others. That fear was more than justified in the lives that they had. But, as a wise man had once said to her, why sacrifice the present waiting for a future that may never happen?

The look that crossed Chakotay's face when she smiled at him was one she would never forget. "Chakotay," she said gently, "This time, I am not going to turn you away. After all we've been through in the last week I am not going to ignore my feelings any longer. You already know I love you . . ."

"Kathryn . . . are . . . are you sure?" Chakotay asked, not able to believe it. She embraced him in reply and he held her tight, not wanting the dream that he seemed to be in to end. "I love you." He said softly.

"I love you too." She smiled into him.

THE END

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