Promised Is Promised

Kathryn swore to herself that she would never touch alcohol again. Not ever! What had she been thinking, anyway, that she had considered drinking Neelix's punch? She should have known that the Tom Parises of this quadrant would find a way to spike the supposedly harmless beverage, regardless of the consequences.

Then why had she drunk it? Well, the answer to that one was easy. Truth be told, it had tasted good, and at that time she hadn't been thinking about the consequences, either.

Alas, it was as the saying goes - punishment follows on the heels of sin - if her hangover was any indication. To Kathryn, it felt as if her head was going to explode any second. Yes, she of all people was used to headaches, but this one was worse than all previous ones combined! However, Kathryn wouldn't even have considered seeing the Doctor about it, had she not felt sick to her stomach as well. She sure was glad that she'd skipped breakfast that morning, for she would have quickly lost it again, of that she was dead sure.

So now, Kathryn was on the way to sickbay, all the while trying to remember last night. That, however, was quite a difficult task, to put it mildly. Her brain just refused to function properly, and thus her memory had gaps. All she was able to recall was a pool table. Yes, she had been playing pool with someone, but with whom, she couldn't tell, even if her life depended on it.

As Kathryn reached sickbay, though, she stopped trying to remember last night's events. Well, she more or less was forced to, because upon entering, the Doctor was immediately at her side as if he had been waiting for her.

"Let me guess," he started off like someone who already knew the answer to his following question, "your headache is killing you?"

Kathryn wasn't in the mood for his sarcastic remarks, though.

"Just do something about it, Doctor, will you?" Was it just her imagination, or had he really prepared that hypo in record time? The minute she finished speaking the Doctor had her already maneuvered to a biobed, a hypo in hand.

"Let me guess," she mocked his earlier tone, "I'm not your first patient this morning?"

"Commander Chakotay complained about the same symptoms, yes." The Doctor then pressed the hypo to her neck, and Kathryn breathed a sigh of relief, for the painkiller had an immediate effect on her.

"Thank you," she said. "Have any other crew members seen you yet?"

"Now that you ask," he frowned, "actually not. You and the Commander were the only ones, most likely because you two drank the most."

"Thank you," Kathryn repeated, firmer this time. The Doctor had just told her more than she needed to know.

*

As Kathryn entered the bridge, she immediately demanded that Chakotay join her in the ready room. She wanted to find out if he remembered more than she did, but had she bothered to look at him on the way to the ready room, she would already have received her answer. Chakotay didn't really succeed in supressing the smirk on his face.

As it was, though, Kathryn headed for her private room without a glance at her First Officer and only turned around to face him when the doors had slid shut behind him. All her senses were alert in no time, however, as she caught sight of his smug grin and relaxed composure. Chakotay was up to something, that much she knew, and from the sparkle in his eyes Kathryn could tell that he probably remembered last night quite well.

"Okay, what's up?" she asked, one eyebrow reaching for her hairline. "You look pretty at ease for someone who had a hangover just this morning."

"It was worth it."

The hangover was worth what? Why did he have to confuse her? And why did he have to look so damn self-confident? Something was definitely up, and judging by his expression, he got a kick out of it. If only she remembered . . .

"Tell me about last night," Kathryn demanded. It came as close to admitting that she forgot as possible where she was concerned, and Chakotay knew that. His grin grew in its size.

"You challenged me to a game of pool."

"And?" Gods, she hated it when he made her practically drag the information out of him.

Even though it bordered to the impossible, his grin grew even wider.

"You lost," Chakotay replied as if that explained his extremely good mood.

"And?" Kathryn asked again, an impatient edge to her voice.

"I suggest you better sit down. I don't want you to drop to the floor, shocked."

"Thanks," she retorted, "I'd rather remain standing. Now spill it, Commander." Instead of answering her question as she had expected, Chakotay handed her a data PADD. Kathryn's confusion was complete now, but she took the PADD anyway and began to read . . . and wished she had taken his advice. Her head jerked up, her gaze alternating between his face and the PADD in disbelief.

"This is a joke, isn't it?" But even as she said that, she knew it was not.

In her hands Kathryn Janeway held an IOU, drafted and signed by herself. That in itself wasn't bad by far, but the secure she had given him in case of her losing was. She must have been really drunk, she decided, for the secure was nothing else then a promise to share a night with her First Officer. Damn, why couldn't she recall that?

"This can't be TRUE . . . I don't have . . . I would never have . . . I can't believe I did this. Tell me that this is a joke!" There was a subtle change in Chakotay's attitude then, as he took in her pale face, wide-open eyes, and the disbelief which was written all over her face.

This plus her stuttered words had him change his plan. Actually, Chakotay had come to her ready room with the purpose to show her the IOU and have a good laugh. Upon her reaction, though, his manly pride was hurt, and he decided there and then that he would get the promised secure.

"Believe me," he slowly approached her, "it's not. This agreement was your idea, after all, and . . . I've come to receive the promised secure." If it was humanly possible to become even more pale, Kathryn managed to achieve that goal. Gasping, she rounded her desk just to put a bit more distance between them, for he was getting too close for her liking. At this very moment, Chakotay looked to her like a predator who knew his prey was trapped. His determined expression, his slow but calculated movements . . . all spoke volumes. Still, she had to try to get out of this one, for the alternative was frightening.

"Don't be ridiculous, Chakotay," Kathryn told him in her firmest tone. "You know I was drunk, hence you can't come here and demand your secure."

"You're not getting out of this one, Kathryn." His eyes took slow inventory of her. "I can just repeat myself. It was your idea, you lost, and now I want to have my secure. In other words, I want you."

*

It was maddening! Try as she might, Kathryn couldn't come up with one single plan to escaspe the inevitable; she was just delaying it by avoiding Chakotay at all costs.

She had been lucky in the ready room, though, or else he had already gotten what he wanted. If it hadn't been for Seven, Chakotay would have continued stalking her and . . . she couldn't even finish her thought!

Kathryn's problem was, though, that her options were limited. Pulling rank on Chakotay wouldn't help; she had already tried that. Calling security was no option, either; how was she to explain her actions? 'You see, Tuvok, I signed an IOU, promising myself to my First Officer and now he claims his secure?' Impossible. Dodging Chakotay until he lost interest? She'd be hiding an eternity!

"Chakotay to Janeway."

Now what? Panic threatened to overcome her, accompanied by the overwhelming desire to hide in a dark corner, hoping never to be found. Kathryn forced it down, however. Perhaps Chakotay wanted to talk about ship's business?

"Go ahead, Commander." Her voice sounded awfully strange, even to her own ears!

"Are you ready?"

Was she ready? She had been ready for years now, but that didn't keep her from being afraid. Yes, she wanted him, had wanted him for a long, long time, but not like that. Never like that.

"Ready for what?"

Kathryn rather felt than heard Chakotay enter her quarters, her back facing him.

He must have used his override code to let himself in.

His presence sent shivers up and down her spine.

"Ready for me," came his husky reply.

She needed to get out of here, and she needed that now! Unfortunately, Kathryn never got a chance; his arms had wrapped around her waist before she managed to finish her thought.

"Don't," she pleaded, her voice trembling along with her body. "I can't."

It was the fear in her voice that made Chakotay forget his manly pride for the time being. What was she afraid of? Gently turning her in his arms, he searched her eyes, determined to get an answer.

"Why not?" he whispered as no answer was forthcoming.

"I . . . I just can't."

But her body betrayed her, responding to his closeness. Taking his cue, Chakotay leaned closer, drawn to her mouth like a magnet. He wanted . . . needed . . . to kiss her, but he wouldn't force himself upon her, Chakotay decided. He would stop the moment she told him to. All that was needed was a simple no, really.

By the time their lips touched, Kathryn had still not protested, despite her obvious fear. Instead, as Chakotay was gently brushing his lips over hers, she followed suit, if somewhat tentatively as if she didn't really know how to respond . . .

If love was able to kill, Chakotay was doomed.

Never had he expected to hold Kathryn in his arms like that.

Dreamed about?

Yes.

Expected that to happen?

Certainly not.

Yet, here he was, sharing the single sweetest kiss with the woman he loved. And slowly, very slowly, he became more daring. His hands followed the length of her arms upward until they reached her slim shoulders, and on to cup her face, while he carefully deepened the kiss.

Kathryn's body started to tremble all over again, but this time because of anticipation. Chakotay was exploring her mouth so gently, it made her want to cry. She should have panicked by now, should have pushed him away and thrown him out of her quarters, but she couldn't. Kathryn wasn't even able to recall why she had been so afraid in the first place. All she could focus on was his mouth and what he was doing with it. She wasn't even aware of her arms having wound around his neck, nor did she know at which point she had begun rubbing her pelvis against his.

Chakotay had noticed the change in her, but he wasn't about to rush anything, unwilling to take any chances. Instead, his tongue darted out to follow the shape of her lips, and as Kathryn opened her mouth in response, he thought he was in heaven.

He was wrong.

The moment his tongue met hers, he was in heaven. Nothing registered in his mind anymore, except Kathryn. Anything else - the ship, the crew, the IOU - nothing mattered anymore. Then, Kathryn sighed into his mouth, and Chakotay was done for. One swift motion and she was scooped up in his arms, while he began to carry her towards the bedroom. Once there, he let her slide down his body until she was sprawled across the bed, her hair surrounding her head like the corona of a star.

Kathryn looked so beautiful, it took his breath away. Her skin flushed, her lips swollen from his kisses, her eyes glazed over from desire. Gone was the almighty Captain. Only the woman was left.

Chakotay couldn't keep away from her for long, so he lay down beside her, resuming his explorations. This time as he kissed her, however, his hands began to take slow inventory of her still uniform-clad body, running up and down her sides, feeling every curve of her slender body.

His gentle slowness was driving Kathryn mad, and involuntarily her body responded to his every touch. This was a new experience for her, and she didn't quite know what to do, so she tentatively started exploring his body as well.

Fortunately for her, Chakotay had changed out of his uniform before coming to her. This way it was far easier for her to make contact with his bare skin, her hands roaming over his broad chest and upward until they found the hem of his shirt. Kathryn then pushed it upward and allowed her fingers to slide under the shirt.

Chakotay thought he would die of sensory overload as her fingers touched his hot skin, sending shivers throughout his entire body. Still, her caution and slight hesitation didn't go unnoticed, and once again he wondered why that was the case. Had it not been totally improbable, Chakotay would have thought she still was a virgin. Any coherent thought fled his mind, though, as Kathryn's slender fingers found his male nipples; he couldn't help groaning.

Upon his voicing his pleasure, Kathryn withdrew her fingers at once, however, startled eyes searching his gaze. At that moment, Chakotay realized what her hesitation had hinted at the whole time: Kathryn had apparently never had a chance to indulge in thorough foreplay. This realization having hit home, Chakotay swore to himself that he would make love to her as gently and thoroughly as he was able to manage. He wanted it to be an experience which she would have difficulty forgetting.

Ever so slowly, Chakotay opened her uniform, revealing only so much skin at a time. As so many times before, her needs would come first, and he wanted to take things slowly.

Chakotay had reckoned without Kathryn, though. Her impatience easily got the better of her, and before long she was helping him undress her, then himself.

"You're so beautiful," he mumured as his eyes took in Kathryn Janeway in all her glory. But before she could reply, his mouth had resumed its exploration, starting off showering her forehead, eyelids, cheeks, and mouth with featherlight kisses. He smoothed her hair away, breathing her name softly into her ear and letting his mouth trail down her throat, lips and tongue tickling gently all the way to her collarbone. In response and totally on instinct, Kathryn stroked the hard muscles of his shoulders, feeling them shift as his hands wandered over her, exploring with intimate consideration.

Before long Chakotay ran his hands the length of her arms downward until they reached her hands. He then entwined his fingers with hers and gently drew her arms over her head, rolling atop her in the process, drawing a prolonged moan from her.

Kathryn hadn't thought it possible to be so aroused, but now as she was kept immobilized by his weight, unable to return the favor, fresh waves of pleasure shot through every cell of her body. She couldn't help squirming and sighing.

The tension was building with every passing minute, yet she felt strangely relaxed, all the same.

Chakotay stopped his assualt on her senses for a momemt to lose himself in her beauty again, his gaze wandering over her flushed face. He was lost as his eyes locked with hers, however. The passion and desire he saw in them almost was his undoing, and his mouth crushed down to steal another kiss from her swollen lips, before he began trailing a path of hot kisses down her throat, his tongue sneaking out every now and then.

A low moan escaped Kathryn, and she started squirming again. Then, Chakotay's lips finally found her breasts, the exquisite pleasure causing her back to arch off the bed. As his lips moved further downward to her navel and his intent became clear, she tensed, though. He wouldn't, would he?

"Chakotay . . ."

"Let me," he breathed against her skin, sending shivers up and down her spine.

Then he reached his destination, and Kathryn thought she would die of pleasure. Forgotten was her uncertainty as he played her masterfully, his lips and tongue focusing on her hot center, caressing and teasing.

Chakotay was soon to discover that he was no longer able to hold her wrists and keep her hips from arching off the bed, as she was bucking wildly against his mouth. So he let go of her arms and kept her lower body in place instead, determined to make her beg for fulfillment. He didn't have to wait for long.

Kathryn's hands had a mind of her own, winding themselves into his hair to have something to hold on to. Before long, she was crying out in pleasure repeatedly.

Eventually, she was not able to stand it anymore.

"Chakotay," she pleaded, out of breath, "I need you inside me . . ."

Chakotay was more than happy to oblidge. In a blink of an eye, he had positioned himself at her entrance, and slowly entered her to the hilt, drawing a prolonged moan from her and a groan from himself. He then took a moment to just feel her surrounding him. As she rotated her hips, though, he started moving again, choosing a slow, steady rhythm.

Wrapping her legs around his waist, Kathryn soon granted him better access. Her arms then drew his mouth down to steal another kiss from him. And while their kiss grew in intensity, tongues teasing one another, their rhythm became more demanding, building up the tension to an almost unbearable height. Just as Kathryn thought she couldn't stand it any longer, the waves came crushing down on her. Her head bent backward and her eyes closed while she rode them, taking Chakotay along with her, both their cries vibrating off the walls of the room.

The moment Chakotay felt strong enough to move again, he rolled onto his back, pulling her along until she came to lie across his chest. Both were still panting, their hearts thundering against their ribcages, as tiredness began to get the better of them, and they drifted off to sleep.

*

Kathryn woke a few hours later, feeling incredibly sore. Still, neither that nor ten times that feeling could prevent the happy smile from spreading across her face. Never before had she been so completely sated. Then again, their love-making had simply been amazing. She wondered if he thought so, too . . .

"What are you thinking about, Kathryn?"

She rolled atop him, straddling him.

"You. That is, you and the recent work-out I got."

Her change of attitude didn't go by unnoticed. Chakotay had some difficulty imagining, though, that the frightened Kathryn from before and this playful one were the same person. But although he thought he already knew the reason, Chakotay still needed confirmation.

"You haven't had many lovers before, have you?" he whispered.

Kathryn stiffened at once, her smile vanishing, and looked at him askance. How could he ask that? It was like a blow to her face, and she no longer wondered what he thought of their love-making. The question made his thoughts awfully clear. Averting her gaze, she wrapped herself in the covers, for she felt the need to cover herself all of a sudden, and got up. And in putting some distance between them, her doubts returned at full force. What had she been thinking, that she had allowed him in her bed? What had he been thinking, that he had pushed the issue? It had been a error in judgement on her part, and she couldn't correct it, but she could prevent herself from further humiliation.

"You'd better be leaving now."

"Kathryn?" Chakotay replied, confused. What had he done to make her withdraw?

"Are you deaf, or what?" she exclaimed. "You wanted to have sex? You've had it, now get out of here!"

Chakotay then moved, getting out of bed and fishing for his boxer shorts. As he put them on, Kathryn thought he was really going to leave her, and should have been happy about it. She wasn't though. Instead, she just felt empty and spent.

"Do you really think this was just about sex?" he softly asked, startling her by sitting on the bed again. He shook his head. "It never was."

"Oh, that's new," Kathryn struck out at him. "Care to tell me what it was about then? I seem to recall you coming to my ready room to claim your secure, and now you tell me that this wasn't about sex?"

"No, it wasn't. When I confronted you with the IOU, claiming the secure was the last thing on my mind. I merely wanted to have a good laugh. Your reaction changed that, however," Chakotay continued, getting a bit more agitated with every word. "It challenged my pride. I expected the shock and disbelief, but I wasn't prepared to see terror in your eyes, as if the mere thought of being with me was making you sick. That hurt, and so I changed tactics." Obsidian eyes locked onto hers then. "But you seem to blame this situation entirely on me. Nothing more than that kiss would have happened if you had told me to stop. A simple no, and I would have left you. Do you seriously think I would force myself upon you? No matter how hurt I am, no matter how much I want you, I love you too much to even try to make you do something you don't want. I thought you felt the same, but I seem to be the only one whose feelings run deep. An error in judgement, I suppose." Reaching for the rest of his clothes, Chakotay proceeded to dress completely, unaware that Kathryn had grown very pale.

Speechless, Kathryn only managed to watch him dress for the moment. As he finished dressing and started for the door, though, she had recovered enough to make him stay.

"Don't," she pleaded, reaching out for him as he passed her, taking a step forward. She promptly tripped over the long cover she was wrapped in, losing her balance. Had it not been for Chakotay's quick reaction, she would have lengthwise fallen to the floor. Now she was safely held by his strong arms.

"Don't what?" Chakotay, who saw the desperation and something else in her eyes, whispered. Once more the urge to kiss her was about to get the better of him, but this time he would control himself. He just had to until he received his answer.

"Don't go," Kathryn replied, equally softly. "You know that I love you. I don't want you to go."

Her confession was Chakotay's undoing. A low groan escaping him, his mouth dropped to capture hers. He had always known he could forgive her for everything if she only said these three words. Their lips still locked, he picked her up and sat down on the bed again, leaning against the bedrest with Kathryn on his lap. Eventually, they drew apart.

"What made you think this was just about sex?" Chakotay asked a bit hesitantly. "I still don't get what had you practically leaping off your bed."

"What made you ask about my former lovers?" Kathryn replied, unable to look in his eyes. "There I was, ready to spend the rest of my life in bed with you, and you had to ask that of all questions. Sorry, but you didn't sound like someone helplessly in love with me."

Groaning in understanding and at his own stupidity, Chakotay touched his forehead to hers.

"I guess I didn't phrase that very well." He drew back a little to look her in the eyes, wanting her to understand this time. "You were so insecure. At first I thought you would change your mind, but then your tentative responses told me otherwise." Kathryn eyes dropped in embarrassment, and she turned her head away from him. Chakotay gently forced her to look at him again. "It surprised me, I'll admit that, but it also made me happy."

Kathryn's eyebrows shot up, a surprised expression crossing her face.

"It did? I thought you had to be disappointed, because I didn't know how to please you the way you did me."

"Don't think that." He brushed a kiss on her lips. "Never think that. As I was saying, I was surprised but happy, for it meant that I could show you love. And don't you dare think you didn't please me," he added with emphasis. "I never wanted it to end."

She took a long moment to search his face for evidence of untruth, but didn't find any. Relieved and happy, Kathryn snuggled closer to his warmth.

"And what do you want now?"

"I just want to hold you, my love."

THE END

Feedback, please?