First Steps

Chakotay hurried around his quarters, setting the table, lighting candles, and replicating vegetarian lasagna. In a nutshell he prepared everything for dinner with Kathryn Janeway. Certainly, he still had ten minutes left until her arrival, but he wanted everything to be just perfect.

Throughout the past few weeks, they both had spent more and more time together, sharing a candlelight dinner, going over reports, or just enjoying themselves in the Holodeck or Mess Hall. They gradually grew closer and learned something new about each other every day. For instance, he had never thought she had a lazy side, but she did. If her time allowed it, Kathryn could lay on the sofa, chair, bed, whatever, and do absolutely nothing.

The door chime startled Chakotay out of his reflection, announcing the arrival of his favorite Captain. "Come in."

The doors opened, revealing the sight of Kathryn Janeway dressed in black leggings and a beige tunic, the most charming smile on her lips. Chakotay returned her smile with his dimpled one, bowing in front of her and bidding her in.

"I hope you've brought some appetite with you," he said. "I've replicated lasagna for us. Dessert, however, is a surprise."

Kathryn let him lead her to one end of the table and sat down, allowing him to adjust her chair. "Good," she replied, still smiling broadly. "I like surprises."

"Since when have you been so fond of them?" Chakotay asked teasingly, knowing full well that Kathryn was dying of curiosity. She had just learned to hide it better over the time.

"Since you've started surprising me," came her casual reply, but she made the fatal mistake of looking him in the eye. Her own betrayed her, sparkling in anticipation and curiosity.

Chakotay, ever the gentleman, began to fill her plate before he sat down at the opposite end of the table. "You really don't expect me to spoil you, do you? Where's the fun in that?"

Kathryn swore slightly under her breath, causing him to dissolve into fits of laughter. "Come on, Chakotay. Don't I even get hints?" she asked, her features softening as she remembered another time when she had asked the exactly same question. But just like then Chakotay wouldn't bend.

"No way, my dear Kathryn. You'll have to wait and see."

"Where's the fun in that?" she mocked his earlier question.

"I'm enjoying myself. Aren't you?"

"You're awful," Kathryn groaned, good-naturedly though.

They spent the rest of dinner enjoying their meal and their closeness. Occasionally, Kathryn would try to get information about her surprise out of him, and Chakotay would give nothing away, teasing her about her impatience.

Eventually, they finished dinner and together they cleared the table. Kathryn then made herself comfortable on his couch, tensely awaiting dessert.

"Close your eyes," Chakotay instructed. Kathryn arched one eyebrow but obliged. "And no cheating."

Chakotay walked up to her, and, waving a hand in front of her eyes, made sure she did as she was told. Pleased with her reaction, or lack thereof, he went to his replicator and issued his request in a low voice. He wouldn't want her to hear him, now would he? Once the dessert appeared, Chakotay took it out of the small shelf and walked back to the waiting Kathryn.

"Open your mouth," Chakotay requested as he filled a spoon with the contents of the bowl he was holding in one hand. Kathryn did, and he slowly put the spoon into her warm mouth, watching her reaction.

As the bittersweet taste exploded on her tongue, Kathryn immediately recognized it and opened her eyes. "Coffee ice-cream!" she exclaimed happily. "Oh Chakotay, you're a god."

"If you say so," he replied chuckling, then settled next to her on the sofa. He put the bowl between their bodies and handed Kathryn her spoon. Together they began to eat until the bowl was emptied, looking as if it had never been used in the first place.

Chakotay put the empty bowl on the nearby coffee table while Kathryn sank into the cushions of his couch, groaning.

"I swear I'm going to explode any second," she commented, holding her stomach. "I've never eaten so much in my life."

"But it was delicious," Chakotay replied.

"No doubt about that. Thank you."

Chuckling, he once more settled beside her. "Don't thank me, thank the replicator."

"I would do just that if I was able to move," Kathryn said dryly. "If I keep eating so much on a regular basis, then I'll be rolling around the ship."

"No . . . I'll be rolling you around," Chakotay teased.

"You're awful."

"So you keep telling me." He shifted position until he sat in one corner, and raised his knees. "Come here, Kathryn."

She happily obliged and moved between his legs, leaning her back against his broad chest. Instantly, his arms wrapped around her waist, and Kathryn sighed contently. This was what she had always wanted. Someone to hold her. Someone with whom she could be herself, not the mighty Captain of Voyager. And in allowing their relationship to develop and grow, she had found just that.

"Tell me a story," Kathryn suddenly broke the companionable silence.

"About what?"

She turned in his arms to let her fingers caress the indigo lines on his forehead. "About how you got your tattoo." Her eyes locked with his when he didn't answer. "Well?"

"Alright. But I suggest that you make yourself more comfortable. It's going to be a long story," Chakotay said and waited until she had turned back, her back once more resting against his chest. Then he began his story in that warm, mellow voice of his that Kathryn had come to love so much.

"When I was still in Starfleet, I received the message of my father's death, killed by the Cardassians. I also was informed that my father had been one of the heads of the Maquis and was asked to come back to Dorvan V. My father and I had never been close, especially since I had told him about my wish to join Starfleet. Anyway, although we had had out differences, the message about his death caused grief, regret, and anger to sweep through me. Grief over his death. Regret over never getting the chance to become reconciled. Anger at the Cardassians, and I think the beginning of my anger at Starfleet for letting it go so far.

At that moment though I wasn't yet planning on leaving Starfleet to join the Maquis. The decision was made, however, when I set foot on Dorvan for the first time in five years. My home looked nothing like I remembered it. Destroyed buildings as far as the eye could see, poisoned waters, and scared people greeted me. A new wave of anger surged up in me then, more powerful than the first time.

This anger forced me to meet up with the Maquis, and, listening to their explanations, I made up my mind to definitely change sides then. Afterwards I visited what little of my family was left and listened to them for a long time. They told me things, good and bad, about my father that I had never thought him capable of doing. I realized what little I knew about the man I called father and decided there and then that I would at least honor his death when I had failed to honor his life.

I went to the elders of my tribe and asked for an exact replica of my father's tattoo on my forehead. Something that would tie me to him and his beliefs which were gradually becoming my own. Well, my request was obviously granted."

Throughout his monologue, Kathryn had been listening attentively, trying to absorb every tiny bit of information he had been giving. She wasn't the slightest bit surprised about his decision to join the Maquis at that time. In fact, if the roles had been reversed, Kathryn was sure, she would have done the same thing. What had surprised her, though, had been the calmness of his voice as he had told her all this. Kathryn seriously doubted she could remain so impassive if she remembered the unpleasant things in her life.

"Did it hurt?" Kathryn asked after some time.

"What?"

"Getting the tattoo, I mean."

Chakotay's chin came to rest on top of her head. "No, not really. I was so absorbed in my wrath that I didn't really notice the needle."

"I'm glad you got the tattoo."

"Why's that?" he asked curiously.

A huge smile on her lips, Kathryn turned in his arms, her fingers brushing along the lines of his tattoo for the second time that evening. "Because I love it. Because I love touching it. Because it suits you. And," she let her fingers wander downward, "just because."

"Oh well, then I'm glad, too," Chakotay said smiling while her fingers explored his jaw line. "Because it means, I'll feel your fingers on my skin more often." When her fingers brushed his lips, he added, "And on my lips."

"Is that all you want to feel on your lips?" Kathryn asked a little huskily, her face slowly leaning closer to his. Shortly before their lips met, she got her reply.

"No, certainly not."

And then two pairs of lips brushed, almost not touching at first, but slowly becoming familiar with the new sensation. They thoroughly explored each other's mouth and lips, tongues seeking each other. The kiss seemed to last an eternity, neither of them willing to end it just yet. As they eventually parted, having shared their first kiss, they were smiling madly.

Happy and content, Kathryn placed her head on his chest right above his heart, listening to its gentle rhythm. Chakotay's hands were stroking her hair meanwhile; something he had always dreamed of doing, but just recently got the chance to indulge in.

"Have I told you yet," Chakotay asked while continuing to stroke her auburn strands, "that I love you?"

"Yes, a thousand times," Kathryn replied laughing. "I'll never grow tired of it, though. I love you too." She then stifled a yawn.

"Good that we've talked about it," Chakotay commented. "Since someone seems to fall asleep any second."

"I'm not tired," Kathryn said, not yet ready to leave the warmth of his embrace.

"Liar."

"Guilty as charged." She smiled up at him. "I don't want to move, though. I'm enjoying my current position a lot."

"Oh well, since you put it so nicely," he kissed her on the head, "I'm not complaining."

Scant seconds later, Kathryn was sound asleep, lying cradled in his arms. Chakotay had to grin at this: she was enjoying herself, indeed. But what now? Should he wake her? He knew he was supposed to, but Kathryn looked so peaceful, so relaxed in her sleep that every cell in his body screamed against doing it.

For fear of waking her, Chakotay didn't dare move for an indefinite period of time. As his muscles protested against that, though, he was confronted with the same problem again. Should he wake her? Skimming through all available options, Chakotay eventually decided against waking Kathryn. Instead he moved carefully, turning her sleeping form in his arms until he could slip an arm under her knees. He then stood slowly on shaky legs, needing a moment to find his balance before carrying her into his bedroom. There Chakotay gently laid her down on his bed, took off her shoes, and covered her with the blanket. Through all this Kathryn didn't wake but snuggled down in bed, making herself more comfortable.

Chakotay watched her a moment longer before he walked over to his closet, getting a blanket and pillow for himself. As he turned his gaze once more fell upon the sleeping form of Kathryn Janeway.

"Sleep well, my love," he whispered before he left his bedroom to catch some sleep himself. Taking his shirt off, Chakotay briefly wondered what her reaction was going to be when she woke tomorrow morning. Well, he would find out soon enough, so he finished undressing and climbed up into his temporary bed, covered himself with the blanket, and soon drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Kathryn woke to the sound of Chakotay's alarm. She allowed herself a moment of laziness while she gradually became awake. It didn't strike her as odd that the alarm seemed to have turned itself off. She did, however, notice the handsome man clad in his uniform enter . . . her bedroom? What was he doing here? Only then did Kathryn realize that she was still wearing her clothes from the other day. So it wasn't her bedroom after all.

Chakotay caught the short flash of confusion in her eyes and offered some sort of explanation as he handed her the cup of coffee he had replicated for his beautiful Captain. "Good morning, Kathryn. I assume you slept well after you fell asleep on me?"

"Very well," Kathryn confirmed, and her eyes lit up at the first sip of her coffee. "Thank you. Now, how did I end up in your bed?"

"Oh, that's simple. I put you there."

"Really? I would've never guessed . . ." Kathryn didn't seem upset, though. Her eyes sparkled with laughter.

Chakotay sat down beside her, smiling down at her. "Well, you complained about moving, remember? I didn't have the heart to wake you, so I moved you here while I took the couch."

Kathryn swallowed her coffee wrongly. "What?" she managed between coughing. "You slept on your couch?"

"Yes." Oh, this was just too good to let it pass him by. "Where did you think I slept?"

"I . . . uhm . . . well . . ." she stuttered, blushing a dark shade of red.

Laughing, Chakotay stood. "I think this answers my question. Now Captain, I suggest that you better get up or you're going to be late for duty."

"Yes, sir." Kathryn mock saluted after she had climbed out of bed. She then brushed a kiss on his lips. "Thank you, Chakotay."

"You're very welcome."

He was rewarded with that genuine smile of hers that he saw too seldom before she slipped past him, coffee still in hand, and out the door. "Oh, this is just getting interesting," Chakotay chuckled to himself.

THE END

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