Vendetta

"Tell me again. What are we doing here?"

"We're cooking."

"Aha."

With a short sideward glance, Kathryn tried to judge his expression. And the skeptical frown on his forehead definitely told her that he was not convinced. "And just what, Mister, is that supposed to mean?"

Eyeing the pots suspiciously, Chakotay was left with the choice of either telling her the truth, thus, signing his death sentence, or coming up with a good lie and risking the destruction of the Mess Hall along with it.

Hmm, difficult choice.

Chakotay would choose a lie any time.

The truly sad thing was, though, that he couldn't come up with any kind of lie, good or bad. Oh well, he was going to be dead either way. Why bother?

"I think we should be in bed rather than doing this." This comment was met with an incredulous stare from Kathryn. Oh joy, he thought, gutter moment. But, what did she expect from him at two in the morning, anyway? That he was fully conscious? Unlikely. That he was having fun? Oh yes, he'd prefer a late night attempt at cooking over being fast asleep any day. Boy, he might be helplessly in love with her, but he wasn't into masochism.

Or maybe he was.

Chakotay was still up and cooking . . . something . . . in the Mess Hall with Kathryn in the middle of the night, after all. Yes, definitely masochism.

"Either in their own bed," he clarified. "What were you thinking?"

"That you'd better be helping me cook now, or I'll make you eat it in the end."

He gulped, knowing that this was a serious threat. Pure horror, which he wasn't able to repress, showed in her eyes. "What do you want me to do?" Was that really his voice? Since when had he sounded like Mickey Mouse on helium?

"You can look after the fish," Kathryn told him, her voice carrying an unmistakable note of victory. "I'll check the potatoes."

"Yes, Ma'am." Why was he doing this, dammit? Oh yes, masochism. He'd almost forgotten. While he was looking after the fish, Chakotay's thoughts kept wandering. Try as he might, he just couldn't get that image of a nice, soft pillow out of his mind. How the soft surface would soothe his aching neck muscles. How dreamland would claim his consciousness in no time at all. How he . . ."OW!"

"Now what?" Kathryn asked rather annoyed, but immediately grew serious as she turned around and saw the skin of his right hand quickly turn different shades of red. It was clear he had burnt it. And judging by the way he was wincing in pain, he had burnt it pretty badly.

Without second thought, she grabbed his other hand and pulled him to the refrigerator, to get something cold for his hand.

Chakotay, for his part, was too shocked by his own carelessness that he didn't even realize what she was about to do. Hence, the sudden cold on his burnt hand nearly sent his brain into emergency shut down. Yet, for some strange reason that he wasn't going to figure out, he managed to merely jump a few feet. Which wouldn't have been so bad, had he not leapt into Kathryn's general direction, sending both of them tumbling to the floor.

"You okay?" Silence. "Kathryn?"

"I always knew I'd die one day," she commented dryly. "I never ever considered the possibility of being crushed by my First Officer's weight, though."

Chakotay blinked. "I'm sorry." Rising to his feet, he tried to repress the feelings her body's proximity had woken in him. Damn, why did her body have to feel so nice? And why did he have to react so strongly to it? Great, sleep was definitely out of the question now. And why was that? That's right. Masochism.

"Chakotay." His eyes involuntarily wandered to the supine figure on the floor. Her eyes focused the ceiling. She lay perfectly still. "I think I need help to get up."

He used his good hand to pull her back on her feet. "I hope this has taught you a lesson."

"And which would that be?" Kathryn asked, rubbing her sore muscles.

"Actually, it's two lessons. One, never ever scare me like that. Two, don't force me to cook at two in the morning."

Her eyes grew wide. "The fish!"

*

Kathryn still looked somewhat pissed as the two of them left sickbay together. The Doctor had, in his usual arrogant tone of voice, lectured them on safety protocols and precaution in a kitchen, once they had told him what had happened. And had he not immediately treated their injuries - Kathryn had pulled a few muscles as he had fallen atop her - Chakotay would simply have shut down the EMH.

However, that was the least of his problems now. He knew that Kathryn's displayed annoyance had more to do with her failure at cooking than Voyager's CMO. The food had looked a little bit burnt once they had remembered to look after it. With 'little' being the understatement of the century. "Hey," he said in an attempt to cheer her up. "Try to see the bright side of it. My hand and your back are as good as new, and the Mess Hall is still intact."

Kathryn just snorted.

Uh, the situation was worse than he had thought. He tried again. "We can always go back and try again."

This time, she stopped dead in her tracks. "If you think I'll ever go through the trouble of cooking with you again, you're fairly mistaken, Mister." She glared at him. "You burnt your hand. Incredible!"

Chakotay was gradually beginning to realize that she wasn't pissed at the EMH but at him. And he still couldn't be mad at her for it.

Great.

Masochism again.

"I'm going to make up for it by buying you coffee. How's that?" Knowing he had found her weak spot, he returned the smile that was rapidly spreading across her face, and offered her his arm.

"Deal."

*

"Caffey, dear, you're nuts. We will not find anything edible in the Mess Hall at four in the morning."

Caffey rolled her eyes at her friend. Kerry could be such a pessimistic person at times. "We'll find something. I promise. Hell, I can even smell it!" To her own surprise, that was even true. As the two of them rounded the next corner, the smell of fish invaded Caffey's nostrils. And judging by the way Kerry suddenly broke into a dead run, she could smell it, too.

"Kerry, dear, slow down. No one's gonna steal your fish at this time. No need to run." But Kerry wasn't listening anymore, which might have to do with her dashing through the Mess Hall doors at warp speed. The doors barely had time to open for her.

Caffey just shrugged and followed her friend. Once inside, she was rather surprised by the pleasant smell. In other words, she figured it couldn't have been Neelix who had been cooking.

That was good.

Damn good.

Caffey wouldn't want to end up in sickbay.

By the time her eyes had adjusted to the low illumination, Kerry was already seated at a table and lovingly watching the fish in front of her. It was cute. Caffey could just grin. Give Kerry her favourite meal, and she'll drool, she thought. "What are you waiting for, hon? That the fish vanishes into thin air? It just might if you keep scaring it by watching it."

Kerry didn't even dignify this with an answer. She began eating instead.

Caffey, for her part, was just thirsty, so she wandered over to Neelix's holy sanctum to get herself a drink, careful not to grab anything leola root. The stuff was awful. She wouldn't even punish her worst enemy with it.

As she finally found something - she couldn't tell what exactly, though - she heard a strange noise from Kerry's general direction. It almost sounded like choking. Turning around, Caffey saw Kerry spitting her meal through the Mess Hall, coughing madly.

Without second thought, Caffey grabbed the can of beverage and rushed to her friend. She pressed the can to Kerry's mouth and made her drink all of it.

What then happened was worse than anything Caffey had ever seen before.

Kerry, the poor thing, leapt off of her chair and bounced through the room, yelling, "Yuck!" time and again. Plus, she started coughing all over again, grabbing at her throat.

By that time, Caffey was very scared and tapped her commbadge. "Ensign Prillwitz to sickbay. Emergency beamout of Ensign Walker!" She waited for Kerry to vanish, before she broke all speed records to get to sickbay herself.

*

"I'm gonna kill whoever made that stuff. I swear I am!"

The Doctor rolled his eyes in a dramatic manner. How many times had he heard Ensign Walker say that in the last few hours? Twenty? Fourty? He couldn't remember, and that said about all.

"Calm down, dear," Caffey tried to soothe her friend. "Be thankful that it didn't do worse damange to your system."

Kerry glared at her. "You shut up. You gave me Neelix's latest leola root something to drink, dammit! I can't even decide which was worse, the poisoned fish or the drink."

Being the smart person that she was, Caffey slowly retreated to the doors. She had apologized time and again for that, but Kerry wasn't in the mood to listen. Kerry was unpredictable at the moment. She could do any kind of harm to Caffey and wouldn't even regret it.

On her way out of sickbay, Caffey bumped into Captain Janeway, who just entered as Caffey was about to leave. "Oh, I'm sorry, Captain. You okay?"

"I'm fine." Kathryn smiled. "I heard Ensign Walker isn't, though. Some kind of food poisoning?"

Kerry picked that moment to vent her frustration again, not having noticed the Captain yet. "Whoever made that fish is dead meat. I'm ready to kill!"

"Yeah," Caffey sighed, oblivious to the Captain's pale face. "And now she is pissed. Obviously."

Kathryn dismissed Caffey with a short nod, and walked to Kerry's biobed. "Ensign Walker." Kerry snapped to attention at once. "I heard you wanted to kill me?" The dumb expression that crossed Kerry's face almost made Kathryn laugh, but she managed to repress the urge.

"Excuse me? I . . . me . . . I never . . ." Kerry death - glared Caffey, which made Kathryn proud. The Ensign was almost as good at that as Kathryn herself was. "Whatever she told you, Captain, was a dirty, rotten lie. I said no such thing."

This was fun, Kathryn decided. Kerry was so cute, and obviously had no clue at all. Plus, she adored her Captain. "Oh, you certainly did. I heard you say it as I entered sickbay."

"But," Kerry thought about that for a second. "But I merely threatened to kill whoever had the nerve to cook that fish!"

Kathryn held a dead - pan expression. "Exactly."

As realization dawned, Kerry paled. Big time. "Oops."

THE END

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