Almost Beyond Repair

I don't believe it, she's done it again! I'm sick of her games! Chakotay stormed through the corridors of Voyager, directly heading towards the captain's quarters. Captain Kathryn Janeway had changed the duty rosters again, so her duty shift wouldn't be together with Chakotay's. I knew it, I shouldn't have kissed her. She wasn't ready. But that? That's ridiculous! He thought.

Two weeks ago the captain and commander spent some time together on the holodeck. He had talked her into it, because he figured a change of pace would do her good. Of course, it wasn't easy, they both argued for a long time, discussing the importance of the crew and work in comparison to her well-being. Her temper had broken through, and he had been at the point of giving up, but all of a sudden she had agreed, figuring she might as well before she would spend the entire day arguing. The evening was spent on a sailboat. Since she had agreed Chakotay said she could choose the program, which was her "Lake George" program.

While they were having fun just sitting together and talking about everything and nothing, the already strong wind suddenly changed its direction, which caused Janeway to lose her balance and fall into Chakotay's strong arms. Actually Chakotay should have known better, but one glance into her ocean blue eyes caused his self-control to disappear and he had kissed her. Just a single, gentle kiss. Through the initial shock she responded. However, as she realized what exactly she had done, Kathryn broke free and watched him with angry eyes.

"Who do you think you are, Commander?" she had yelled at him.

Upon the pronunciation of his title Chakotay winced, already knowing that then wasn't the right time to discuss that matter with her. After a heated conversation about boundaries and duty they agreed it had been the Champaign, although both had been aware that it wasn't the case.

Chakotay had been certain that a kind of tension between both commanding officers was to follow, but that was ridiculous. For two weeks Kathryn had done everything she could to avoid being with her second-in-command.

Fuming with fury Chakotay rounded the corner, which let to Kathryn's cabin. Not paying attention to anyone who might have been in his way, the commander bumped right into his superior officer, taking her with him on his way to the hard floor of the corridor. Despite his anger he felt he had to help her up at least, not daring to say something for fear he might be not able to control his voice. Though the way she emphasized his title yet again, coldly and with venom, reminded him of the fact that he wanted to put an end to that matter.

Janeway was already on her way, well aware that Chakotay wanted to talk to her, however, she didn't have the slightest interest in a conversation with him then and there.

"Don't you dare walk away again," she could hear him say in a barely controlled voice. He wasn't yelling, it wasn't in his nature, but people who knew him, would recognize his tone of voice for what it was. Fury.

Kathryn slowly turned to face her second-in-command. She knew he had every right to be angry; still it did nothing to keep her from getting furious, too.

"Commander you are out of - "

"Line. I know. Spare me." He spat.

She didn't get the chance to voice the rest of her thoughts, since Chakotay took her arm roughly and dragged Janeway into her own quarters. Once inside he locked the door with one of his self-written locks to keep her from escaping. Just then he released his tight grip of her arm and settled against the door.

"We'll discuss that problem right now," he told her.

Kathryn was seized with fear by his behavior, but suppressed the shudder which threatened to overcome her. Think Kathryn, think! You're not ready for this conversation yet. She desperately searched for a way out of this mess, finding none, she began with a low voice, "How dare you speak to me like this? How dare you lock me up in my own quarters?"

"Because I'm sick of this," Chakotay told her, gesturing around with his hand, "I'm sick of you avoiding me, and I think you owe me an explanation at least."

During his remarks Kathryn had begun to pace in front of him, she still tried to find a way to escape, but stopped dead at his last sentence.

"I owe y - " yet again she was cut off mid sentence by him.

"Listen. I'm truly sorry for what happened on the holodeck two weeks ago. I can understand your need to get away from me for some time, but our behavior is affecting the entire crew by now. That cannot be what you want, can it?"

He hoped that would get her full attention, however, he was mistaken. Kathryn hadn't really paid attention to what he had said; instead she suddenly remembered she still had her combadge. With an evil grin on her lips she called security.

"Janeway to Tuvok."

"Tuvok here," came the reply of the ever-calm Vulcan.

Realizing what she was up to Chakotay arose from his place against the door, his eyes growing wide with shock, "You won't really do that, will you?" She can't be serious. The mantra repeated itself over and over again in his head. But she was.

"Tuvok I need a security team in my quarters," she stated, the grin never leaving her face.

"Understood."

Chakotay was shocked. He just stood there; he didn't know what to say or do; the door behind him opened. Surprisingly Tuvok had managed to crack his lock in no time, and now was standing with an assembled security team behind him. Chakotay turned to Tuvok then back to Kathryn, awaiting the now inevitable.

"Tuvok, take the Commander to the brig and keep him there, until I say otherwise."

Before he was taken outside and to the brig Chakotay took a last glance towards Kathryn, "Well Captain, who has mixed the personal life with the professional one now?" Throwing her fears of a relationship with him back in her face.

*

"I can walk alone, Tuvok. You don't have to support me on the way to the brig," Chakotay said, more than a little annoyed by outcome of his actions. If someone had told him earlier he was about to be put under arrest, Chakotay would have laughed of absurdity of it.

On their way they passed different crew members, who were looking very surprised, seeing the commander was escorted by Tuvok and his team. All the way Chakotay was thinking of a way out of that mess. What do I do now? I can't hope to talk to her, she won't answer me. I even can't force her to think about it. Oh shit!

*

The news of Chakotay being under arrest spread through the entire ship in no time, thanks to Tom Paris. He had been one of the crewmembers, who had seen Chakotay together with the security team. Paris told Torres, Torres told Kim, Kim told Ensign Nicoletti, and from there on almost everyone on the ship knew, even though no one had a clue why.

Paris and Kim were sitting in the mess hall, as the captain entered.

"Tom, what are you up to?" Harry asked, when he saw Tom growing fidgety. As realization hit him, his fork clattered upon his almost untouched lunch, "Oh no Tom, don't even think about it." Unimpressed of the innocent look Tom gave him he continued, "Don't play dumb, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Look at her. If you ask her now what happened she will kill you."

"Then I guess I'll have to find out," Tom replied standing and heading to the captain. Harry just shook his head and resumed eating whatever it was lying on his plate, but watched the scene which was playing only a few feet away from him rather intensely as did the rest of the crew in the mess hall.

"Captain, may I ask why Chakotay is in the brig?" Tom started the minute he arrived on the captain's table. By the mention of the commander's name Janeway's eyes flashed with anger, though Tom wasn't able to see it. Nevertheless he could tell by her body language she didn't want to discuss that particular subject. She stopped eating, her back straightened and her head shot up.

Facing her helmsman, she replied, "No, you may not. That's none of your business, Lieutenant."

Despite her obvious disapproval Tom wasn't about to let the subject drop that quickly. He tried another approach.

"Look Captain, I don't want seem rude, but this is affecting the entire crew. Everyone is speculating as to why the commander is arrested and w - "

"That will be enough Lieutenant! I said it's none of your business. And if you don't want to join the commander, I would suggest you leave me alone now. Dismissed." Janeway told him rather loudly, causing all eyes in the mess hall to turn towards her table. When Paris didn't go immediately, she asked sarcastically, "Anything else you want to tell me?"

Tom knew further questioning of the captain would be useless, and he really didn't want to spend time scrubbing the plasma manifolds with a toothbrush, so he answered "No, Captain," and walked back to Harry.

Harry, meanwhile, was dying of curiosity. He hadn't been able to eavesdrop on the whole conversation between Tom and the captain and was about to ask Tom, when B'Elanna joined him, looking angrily towards the captain, who was leaving the mess hall at that time.

"B'Elanna, what's up?" Harry and Tom asked her in unison, after she slumped into the chair opposite them.

"I've just visited Chakotay and ask him about why he was in the brig. Know what? From what he has told me he's done nothing wrong," B'Elanna snorted the last words.

"Calm down B'Elanna and tell us what he has done," Tom was desperate to know where that fiasco had come from. Both their jaws dropped as B'Elanna finished her story, neither of them could believe what they've just heard. Chakotay has kissed the Captain? Surely, it's a joke Tom thought.

"The whole mess started with that?" he asked in disbelief.

"From what Chakotay has told me, yes," seeing Tom beaming, she quickly added, "I warn you Tom. If you spill any of what I've told you, you won't live to tell the tale. The same goes for you Harry."

*

Chakotay was pacing the length of his cell, which wasn't that large, thinking about the circumstances which had led to his misery. Now and then he stopped to scrutinize his surroundings. There was a sorry excuse for a bed. Funny, it looked much bigger from the other side of that force field. On the left side of his cell was an entrance to another small room where he could refresh and go, when certain human needs call.

Chakotay was restless; he couldn't stop thinking about his captain. I guess that has ruined everything. Maybe I should quit being first officer of this ship. He mused. B'Elanna, who stormed through the doors, almost knocking over the poor Ensign on duty, interrupted him. One glance at her told Chakotay everything he needed to know. Someone was pretty angry.

"Lower the force field," B'Elanna yelled. As the ensign started protesting, she spun around in fury, "I . . . said . . . lower the force field."

Seeing the mood she was in the Ensign was smart enough to do so. Taking a few long, deep breaths to calm herself down B'Elanna stepped inside; the ensign activating the field behind her.

As B'Elanna was about to protest Chakotay grabbed her arms, "Calm down! He isn't responsible."

"Who is responsible then?" she asked him, jerking her arms out of his grip.

"I am."

Sitting upon the bed she asked, "You?! I can't believe that. What was so terrible that you were thrown in the brig?"

So Chakotay started telling his story from the incident on the holodeck to his argument in the morning. When he had finished B'Elanna sat very still on the bed, trying to sort through her thoughts. Finally she asked, "That was all? The Captain threw you in here, because of that? I think I'll have a little talk with the Captain."

"I wouldn't do that, if I were you. You could join me in no time," Chakotay reminded her.

*

Kathryn was in her ready room reading reports. Well, she was trying, but not quite succeeding. The argument with Chakotay had been going through her mind ever since she called security. She told herself that putting him under arrest was the right thing to do, he had attacked her and had locked her in her own quarters after all. Yet, she also felt that she'd lost a friend; Kathryn couldn't be sure he would forgive her. There's nothing to forgive me for. She thought. The door chime brought her back to reality.

"Come," she called. Looking up to acknowledge the person, who wanted to see her, she looked directly into the furious eyes of her Chief Engineer.

Kathryn sensed what was about to come, "What can I help you with, Lieutenant?"

"You don't know?" B'Elanna replied, leaning on the captain's desk. It was more a statement than a question.

"I think I have an idea, and I'll tell you the same thing I've told Lieutenant Paris. It's none of your business. If that's all, y - "

"No, it is not," B'Elanna knew it was a risky thing to do, but cut the captain mid sentence nevertheless, "Chakotay told me what has happened. It doesn't justify your actions. And it is my business by the way. This is affecting everyone on the ship."

"Enough Lieutenant! Or else I will thr - " Kathryn interrupted the flood of words escaping the mouth of Torres.

"What? Throw me in the brig like Chakotay? Do what you have to do, but I won't stop now," a little more controlled B'Elanna continued, "Both of you are driving the crew crazy with your behavior. Hell he loves you and you love him! What's so complicated?" seeing Kathryn was about to protest B'Elanna quickly added, "No, don't deny it. I know you do. And please don't tell me the crew has to come above anything else. I know you feel this way, but I can't believe that's the only reason you both are not involved, because I know for sure the crew wants you to be together. One last thing Captain, if you cannot accept I speak to you as a friend, I don't want to be Chief Engineer any longer." Finally feeling better B'Elanna anxiously awaited the captain's reaction. She would stay to her words and quit her job, if Janeway decided this way, but B'Elanna desperately hoped she had gotten through to her.

Janeway slowly opened her hand in front of Torres, indicating that she wanted B'Elanna's rank bar, though not saying a word.

"Fine," B'Elanna said. She gave Kathryn the rank bar, turned on her heels and walk out the ready room; however, she did this as proudly as she had come in.

*

Tuvok was filling his security report for the captain. He was almost finished, but still he needed some detail about the incident. It was only logical for him to ask the commander his question; it was part of protocol to do so. Tuvok saw no reason in staying where he was, because the work couldn't be finished there so he left his office on a direct route to the brig.

On his way he met different crewmembers that suspiciously watched him. Some of them even looked angrily in his direction. As the Vulcan that he was, it didn't matter to him why they treated him like they did, but he was curious. As he continued his way he came to the only logical conclusion, some of the crew didn't like to see the commander arrested. Making a mental note to watch for further signs of the crew's moral Tuvok entered the brig.

"Commander," he said.

"Tuvok," came the equally calm reply. Chakotay saw no point in being angry at Tuvok, after all he was just doing his job.

"I need further information in order to finish the security report," he stated matter of factly, a PADD in his hand.

"I see. Though I'm not going to answer any more questions, ask the Captain what happened" Chakotay figured if Kathryn wanted him where he was, she could do the hard part, explaining to the stoic Vulcan what exactly had happened. On the other hand Chakotay wasn't even that sure what had happened himself.

"Commander, I am not able to see a logical reason for your refusal, but if you insist I will asked the Captain instead of you," Tuvok replied. Even if he didn't understand human behavior, he was certain Chakotay meant what he said. Tuvok's days as a spy in the Marquis had taught him that the Commander could be extremely stubborn, if he wanted to be. This was certainly such a situation.

Tuvok left the brig heading to the captain's quarters. Alpha shift had ended four hours ago, so she would be in her quarters. He wasn't mistaken. As he buzzed her door chime, she called, "Come in."

Kathryn was surprised to see it was Tuvok, he usually didn't come to her quarters, instead he preferred her ready room or his office.

"Tuvok, can I get you something?" she asked, already heading to the replicator.

"No, thank you Captain."

"Coffee, hot," Kathryn ordered the computer then continued, "Please have a seat. What can I do for you?"

Tuvok sat down in one of the two chairs near her coffee table, while Janeway sat on the couch.

"I apologize for disturbing you Captain, but in order to finish my report I must ask you about the incident this morning."

By the way her face darkened Tuvok could tell she would rather not speak about it.

"Why haven't you ask the Commander himself?" she asked by a way to avoid his request.

"I have done that, but Commander Chakotay insisted I speak with you. He would not answer my questions."

How can I answer Tuvok's questions? I don't know myself what exactly had happened. Kathryn nearly panicked at those lines of thinking. She was feeling more uncomfortable as the seconds ticked by. Taking a sip of her coffee she tried to sort through her thoughts.

"What do you want to know?" she asked him finally.

"It was obvious the Commander locked you and himself in your quarters, but after that I only know you called me to take him to the brig. However, the details about that incident are needed for my report."

After minutes of silence and another few sips of her coffee Kathryn told him the entire story, feeling very uncomfortable when Tuvok asked her to further explain some part of it to him. She wasn't able to stand it anymore; Kathryn stood and began pacing in front of Tuvok. That didn't go by unnoticed. She finished her story, but still felt the need to explain further.

"You see Tuvok, Chakotay couldn't accept the fact, that I can't get involved with one of my crew. You of all people should know the reasons, I can't sacrifice the crew for my own happiness."

Realizing what she had just said, Kathryn bit her lip.

"There is a certain logic in your explanations, but may I give you some advice?" Tuvok said after some time.

Kathryn eyed him suspiciously, but granted his request. Tuvok was careful to voice his thoughts correctly.

"Protocol isn't made for our certain situation. I do not wish to intrude on your personal life Captain, but you should consider the fact that it is very unlikely we will get home in your lifetime. From experience I know humans cannot survive without emotional support for a long time. It is only logical for you to take a mate in order to survive."

Kathryn was stunned to say the very least. Tuvok was definitely the last person she had wanted to hear that from. After all she had known him for a long time and had been certain he would never approve of a relationship between herself and one of her crew. She sat heavily back on the couch.

"You've surprised me Tuvok," was all she could get out.

"Obviously," changing the subject he added, "The report will be on your desk at oh six hundred hours."

Tuvok then stood walking towards the door, but before it get a chance to open he turned to Kathryn, who was still sitting, and asked a last question, "When will the Commander be released?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow," Kathryn replied deep in thought. With all she had heard that day she had a lot of thinking to do.

"Good night Captain."

"Good night Tuvok."

*

Kathryn was turning in her bed. In spite of her exhaustion, sleep wouldn't come to her that night. All the time she had to think about what Tuvok and B'Elanna had said. Both were right of course. She did love him and she did need someone in the years yet to come. How am I going to fix this? Maybe it's possible to apologize to B'Elanna and still be friends with her, but Chakotay? He will still be furious, and with good right. A simple apology won't do.

*

The next day Chakotay was slow to wake. Although disoriented he soon remembered where he was, his anger returning together with the memories.

He hurt everywhere. The bed simply wasn't made for people the size of him, and floor was just to hard to sleep on. Slowly he straightened up and carefully moved his arms and legs to stimulate blood circulation. As he had finally managed a sitting position he felt the familiar pattern of the transporter beam. Seconds later he dematerialized, stunned to look directly in the eyes of his commanding officer. It took a few moments to realize that he was in no danger. And a few more to sink in that it had been the woman in front of him, who had thrown him in the brig, the same woman he loved.

Chakotay noticed she sat completely still, knees under her chin, arms wrapped around her legs, hair down, and she wasn't wearing her uniform. Instead she was wearing black clothes, which looked almost like the survival suits - no shoes, her back leaning against the same door that he had leaned upon the day before.

I wonder what she's up to? he thought. Chakotay was definitely not going to be the first one to speak. He leaned back against her couch waiting for her to start speaking. She made no attempt to do so instead just watched him, he spoke, "Are you going to say something?" his voice sounding deadly calm. Chakotay waited a moment, though Kathryn remained silent. "Well, since you put it into my hands to begin this, let me tell you something. If we keep up this game, I will no longer be first officer of Voyager. I can't go on like this, and honestly I don't want to," not getting any response he added, "Why do I have the feeling you don't care about that?"

"I do care," Kathryn whispered. It almost wasn't understandable therefore he asked her to repeat it. "I do care," a bit louder that time, "Chakotay it's hard for me . . . No, don't look at me like this. I mean I don't apologize very often, but I know I owe you an apology . . . and more."

Chakotay watched her falling into silence again. At least she is willing to explain.

"You scare the hell out of me," Kathryn blurted out.

That caught him off guard. He had expected everything; Kathryn trying to make him understand that he had been out of line or rationalize her reaction, but he would had never thought he scared her.

"I do?" he asked surprised.

"Yes, you do," she whispered back. "Every time I think I've figured you out, you do something unexpected, like dragging me into my quarters and lock me in them." At her last remarks his features darkened; they were back at the beginning. Another few moments of silence. "Please, let me explain and then see, if you still want to quit," she begged, pleading him with her eyes to grant her wish, even if she didn't deserve it.

Watching her every move, the quiver of her hands, the way she moved them through her hair, while trying to find the right words, he replied, "Go on."

"I'm so terribly sorry for throwing you in the brig. I know that doesn't make it right, but I was angry and wasn't ready for that conversation. I was still trying to come to terms with my feelings," and now came the hard part, taking a deep breath Kathryn continued, "You were right, so right . . . I can't separate my personal life from my professional one . . . because I can't separate Kathryn from the Captain . . . and I have problems with separating Chakotay from the Commander," she paused, "Do I make any sense at all?"

Chakotay felt some of his anger vanishing as he listened to her explanations. "Perfectly. Go on."

"However, my reasons for pushing you away come down to one . . . I'm afraid, Chakotay. I'm afraid I might lose you yet I'm also afraid to let you in, but I've . . . never, ever . . . wanted to hurt you," Kathryn finished whispering; unshed tears shining in her eyes. She anxiously awaited his reaction, now as she had presented him her innermost fears on a silver platter. Watching him as he slowly moved towards her, she was able to see he no longer was angry at her.

That's a completely new side of her. I've never seen her anything other but in command. She looks so vulnerable. Chakotay studied her closely as he came near and sat beside her, seeing a quite visible quiver going through her entire body. Yes, she does care, but does she love me . . . There's just one way to find out. He thought.

Kathryn had slightly changed her position to be able to see his every move, still clutching her knees tightly to her chest.

"Do you love me?" Chakotay whispered as if afraid she would hear him.

"Yes," came the equally quiet reply, "Yes, I do love you Chakotay . . ." but she was unable to continue when a loud sob escaped her and her tears broke through. Chakotay gathered her in his strong arms, letting her cry out all the pain she had caused herself and all the feelings she had suppressed up to then. Despite the events of the last day he could do nothing but admire her strength. He knew it had taken her a lot of courage to tell him all that and apologize, but he wondered what had changed her mind or rather who. Deciding to ask about later, he held her tighter to him, drawing invisible patterns on her back in order the calm her. In response Kathryn pressed her nose into his throat. They sat together like this for long moments before both fell asleep in the arms of the other.

Kathryn was the first to awake. Her head was pillowed on something soft and warm, Chakotay's chest she realized, his left arm protectively around her waist, and she could do nothing but enjoy the feelings of comfort, protection and love. She wasn't even sure how she had managed to push him away so many times. Those thoughts brought new tears to her eyes, just as Chakotay slowly awake himself.

"Hey, what's the matter?" he asked her softly, framing her face with both of his hands and gently brushing away the tears.

"Nothing."

"Come on, I know there's something," he pushed.

Kathryn debated with herself whether she should tell Chakotay or not, after all they had just found to each other. Finally she replied, "I can't believe I've pushed you away so many times."

Her tears rolled further down her cheeks, as she awaited his reply, but Chakotay remained silent though he was still cupping her face. Her tears now were sliding down his hands as well.

"I see," he whispered after what seemed like hours but had been mere seconds, "Kathryn, I need you to promise me something."

"Anything." And she meant it. Kathryn knew not all problems had been solved, she also knew what he needed her to promise. Chakotay needed reassurance she wouldn't back away again; that she was sure, that she was ready.

"Promise me you won't isolate yourself again, that this is what you really want."

Smiling Kathryn gave him the only answer, which came to her mind, "I promise."

The look on his face was priceless. Chakotay was taken back by the speed of her reply. Recovering he stood and stretched his limbs, which once more had fallen asleep during his nap on the floor.

"Where are you going?" Kathryn asked, as he turned towards the door.

"I don't know about you, but I certainly need a shower, a shave, and clean clothes," he answered in a teasing tone of voice, smiling full dimples, "How about lunch," looking in astonishment towards her chronometer he corrected himself, "um . . . dinner in half an hour?"

Kathryn found herself sharing his reaction relating to the already late hour. During their conversation and nap they hadn't realize how long they stayed in her quarters.

"Sounds good to me, but you'd better be on time."

"I will."

Before the doors closed behind his form, Kathryn could hear him say, "I love you."

"I love you too," she said to the doors in front of her.

*

Kathryn stood in front of B'Elanna's quarters. She figured she could do something productive, while Chakotay refreshed, and she still owed B'Elanna an apology at least. But Kathryn had no idea how to do that; she couldn't just say she was sorry and expect B'Elanna to be entirely grateful. Buzzing the door chime Kathryn waited for permission to enter, however, she was greeted by B'Elanna herself, who wasn't so pleased too see her.

"What do you want?" B'Elanna demanded to know.

Uncomfortable about discussing that in public Kathryn calmly asked in return, "May I come in?"

Kathryn could tell by B'Elanna's expression that she considered saying no, and couldn't blame her for it. By a way of response B'Elanna finally stepped aside to let her in. To say a mess greeted Kathryn would be an understatement. In her frustration B'Elanna had smashed almost the entire furniture of her quarters. The once intact glassy coffee table was lying in pieces upon the floor to Kathryn's left. Chairs were tossed around the room and now were lying in the right corner. To cut a long story short the only thing which still seemed to be without any scratch was her couch. Kathryn turned to face B'Elanna, who was still waiting for an answer, standing with her arms folded across her chest, eyeing Kathryn carefully.

Finding the courage to apologize Kathryn started, "Look, B'Elanna . . . I came to apologize, to thank you, and to give you your job back . . . that is, if you still want it."

B'Elanna couldn't believe her ears. The Captain announcing she was wrong? Still somewhat suspicious to what she had just heard, B'Elanna relaxed, but not that much. Though her arms dropped to her sides, and some of the anger written across her face subsided.

"Tell me, what brought that change of mind?" B'Elanna demanded, indicating for Kathryn to sit.

Kathryn slumped into the couch, relieved that the hard part was over, and began telling B'Elanna of her conversation with Tuvok.

"You see, I wasn't expecting such an reaction from Tuvok of al l people! Although it wasn't Tuvok, who made me see my error with stripping you of your rank. When you were gone, and I had a bit time to think about it, I've realized I was wrong. I'm sorry," she finished, waiting to see if B'Elanna accepted her apology or not.

While Kathryn was talking, B'Elanna had moved to the couch and had sat beside Kathryn. During Kathryn's explanations she had felt the rest of her anger and frustration vanishing, and now saw no problems at all in accepting the offered apology. B'Elanna leaned back against the back of the couch, tucking her feet beneath her, and then asked the one question which interested her most.

"What about Chakotay? I hope you don't mind me asking, but to be honest I'm dying to know what's going on."

"He was released this morning. We had an interesting conversation about the entire problem. I told him how sorry I was, explained my actions . . . and told him of my feelings for him. I suppose I've shocked him a lot, but I think that was what let him forgive me."

"But you are not going to change your mind again, are you?"

"No, definitely not. After he has refreshed, we are going to have dinner together and further discuss our situation." Taking one glance at the chronometer Kathryn added, "Which is almost due. I have to go now B'Elanna. I really sorry about the whole stress I've put you through."

"It's all right. I must admit I'm glad I have my job back. Have fun, and tell Chakotay how happy I am, for you both."

"I will," Kathryn promised, before she left B'Elanna's quarters.

*

Back in her own Kathryn quarters began setting the table. I have to hurry up, only eight minutes left, she thought. When the dishes and candles where set Kathryn replicated some vegetarian lasagna of which she knew he would approve. As she lit the last candle her door chimed.

"Come," Kathryn called, and in stepped a visibly better looking Chakotay. He gave her a single peach rose and let her taking in his appearance. Wearing a simple beige shirt and lose brown pants he looked very handsome Kathryn decided. She hadn't changed, because she felt quite comfortable in her clothes.

"Thank you," she said, accepting the rose. Then she went putting it into a vase, which she put onto the dinning table. "I've replicated lasagna. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," Chakotay replied smiling.

Most of dinner was spent in uneasy silence. Both weren't sure what to say or do. Sometimes they found an easy subject to discuss, but one or the other would mention something connected to the recent events and both would fall silent again. Kathryn was the first to approach their problem.

"How about I replicate us some tea and we try to solve the rest of our problems?"

"Sounds good to me," Chakotay hesitantly answered, then he stood and walked over to the sofa, while Kathryn brought the tea. Handing Chakotay his cup and making herself comfortable beside him. After sorting through her mind and when she had taken a few sips of her tea, Kathryn began, "Chakotay tell me exactly why you are so tense. Well, I have a general idea, but what is bothering you?"

"This all seems like a dream to me," Chakotay blurted out. "It is hard for me to believe this is really happening. Oh yes, I've dreamt about it, I've dared to hope, but now when it's happening it just seems not real."

"I see . . . How can I prove it to you?"

"Kiss me," was all he said.

So Kathryn leaned towards him, her fingers touching his face making their way along his jaw line then up to his tattoo. She drew the lines with her nails, while one of her hands slowly made its way into Chakotay's hair. Just before their lips met she whispered, "My pleasure."

What started with barely touching lips soon developed into much more as Chakotay began acting himself. One arm wound around her neck while the other encircled her waist, as he deepened the already passionate kiss. As their tongues met Kathryn moaned into his mouth and soon both lost any coherent thought they might have had. Lost in the sensation of giving and taking pleasure they drew apart only when they had to breathe.

"Enough proof?" Kathryn asked with a mischievous smile.

Closing the distance between them once more Chakotay replied just before his mouth devoured hers, "No, not really."

THE END

There is a sequel to this story: Making It Work

Feedback, please?